The "Review my Campaign" thread

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  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,837
    My review of NuRegret's "Three Feet from Death":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/three-feet-from-death

    *Start Page-* Good banner. Great video. Normally that is too long, but I was enthralled throughout. The nav bar is too long on both ends. Spelling & grammar errors- ruin shall corm and venom that course: should be courses-no colon. Good job tying sidebar into nav bar. Wood move the prophetess a little left so that the word clan does not drop to the next line.
    *Adventure Logs-* None, since game has not started.
    *Wiki-* Dull, especially after such a good start page. Would move the adventure log links to adventure logs, or create a wiki encompassing all character logs, like "this":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/a-god-rebuilt/wikis/campaigns or "this":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/a-god-rebuilt/wikis/character-logs
    *Characters-* I would make the nav bar be pcs, and the left button npcs, but that is just me. I do like the pics of each character. I would add a bio section for each as well. I love, love the questions you ask each character to get a full bio, but was surprised that many were not done.
    *Overall-* A really great start. Fix the nav bar, use the same creativity on your main wikis page that you do with the start and character page, and get some logs in and you will be right there!!
    Loving this topic, as we are seeing a lot of great up and coming campaigns!!

    killervp
    "A God...Rebuilt":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/a-god-rebuilt
    "Duskreign's First Ever COTM":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/wyrmshadow/wiki_pages/112011

    Just trying to help out.  Changed name from killervp to Gaming Megaverse to match other sites.

  • nuRegret
    nuRegret
    Posts: 5
    Thank kellervp

    Thanks for pointing out the line issue, I use a monitor with 1920 x 1080 resolution so sometimes things look fine on my screen but look off in others. I really do love the video because it is like a quick history lesson for the game so I thought though long it would make a good addition. The game actually started but I am having a hard time thinking of ways to put something together for the players log entries. Right now I have it in an open wiki style since entries vary in size it has become kind of hard to make an image format that will work, my first idea was to use a book and the font I used for the banner which worked for a small entry but my Matsu player has really long posts so her entries would actually be difficult to be able to read on the book image unless I broke it up into multiple entries to fit the pages of the book image. Any suggestion? The Wiki is another complaint of mine but I dont really want to start making it until I have all of my basic pages down, I am almost there so something to look forward to. I thought about the short Bio idea for the characters as well and I am going to write it after I see them play a bit more and after I finally get them all to enter their character info, I feel like I am beating a dead horse with this one since this is our third week and they haven't finished the characters they are playing much less some of the important NPC's they thought of in their back story. To be honest it very slow go since I am new at this but I am having a good time with it. Also I added you to the page of acknowledgments, thanks again for the help.

    nuRegret
    "Three Feet from Death":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/three-feet-from-death
  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,837
    No worries... Suggest putting what you want to use into Gimp and make it seamless... that will allow the post to continue.
    As far as getting players involved, use sticks & carrots... give xp or rewards when they complete items, dock xp or tell them next session they do not play if their duties are not complete.
    killervp
    "A God...Rebuilt":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/a-god-rebuilt
    "Duskreign's First Ever COTM":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/wyrmshadow/wiki_pages/112011

    Just trying to help out.  Changed name from killervp to Gaming Megaverse to match other sites.

  • HurstGM
    HurstGM
    Posts: 205
    I dont know about the stick part. My players are very hit and miss with logs and other things. I leave the carrots out there for them but the stick thing would just hack them off. Dont get me wrong i wish i could get them to do the one thing i want them to do. WRITE LOGS. But until I find that magic book (im sure i left it next to the one that teaches me how to understand my wife) ill just have to settle for the occasional addition to the story.
  • TheMazeController
    TheMazeController
    Posts: 115
    People lay for fun, carrot is okay stick is pretty hard to realistically implement. Aim to get player "buy in" by finding out what is important to them. Once you know their drivers it is easier to motivate them.

    You already know how to lead tho Hurst - we went to some of the same leadership schools as you know ;)

    Meanwhile in other news ...

    I guess Bad Wrong Fun is as close to a live state as ever ... I am going to be building more in the next few days (New adventure log from tonight's session, new surprise scheduled for 18th or 19th etc ...)

    BWF is less "naked" now but still pretty new but review at will - be gentle, I know I suck.

    "Bad Wrong Fun":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/bad-wrong-fun
  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,837
    Review of Hurst's "Broken Road":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/private-while-under-construction

    *Start Page-* Would have changed the links for the page to Broken Road from Private While Under Construction. Great background, good banner. The entry page does not have the flash of previous games, like OCP, but looks good.
    *Adventure Logs-* The Story section.... Man, this is cool in appearance. The book is something that people will be begging to steal. I just wish you had a listing that broke it into character logs, or just a better way to separate them. The writing has a lot of run-ons and sentence fragments, but is a vast improvement from previous campaigns.
    *Wiki-* The main wiki is good- amazing video (would move the video to the start page), and good pic links. The problem is when you get into the table of contents, it is difficult to go back- multiple clicks. Organization on the connecting pages is lacking- bullets are inconsistent, there seems not to be a system, either alphabetical or others.
    *Characters-* The descriptions of the NPC's is very good! So are the bios for the pcs!
    *Overall-* There are things you can always count on in a Hurst campaign- a great look, custom navigation, and unique features. This does not disappoint.

    killervp
    "A God...Rebuilt":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/a-god-rebuilt
    "Duskreign's First Ever COTM":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/wyrmshadow/wiki_pages/112011

    Just trying to help out.  Changed name from killervp to Gaming Megaverse to match other sites.

  • HurstGM
    HurstGM
    Posts: 205 edited January 2012
    KillerVP thanks for the review sometimes I feel like I cant see the forest for the trees as it were a fresh pair of eyes is always welcomed and useful.

    On the logs I have written more than a few books and articals but i have never edited one. In fact I even forget to run spell check most of the time. But I have Savannah helping out with that slowly as she gets time. Something I am very grateful for. My players are not particularly gifted in the writing area in general as well.

    (Note Savannah I was under the impression you were male and I was wrong. Sorry. I have corrected the posts that were wrong.)

    The organization has been organic so far and orgainc things are messy. I cant decide how to resolve this and any suggestions are welcome. Im not so clear on your ideas and if you could flesh them out in a PM it would be awesome.

    Thanks for the review.
    Post edited by HurstGM on
  • Savannah
    Savannah
    Posts: 188
    Heh, no problem -- I'm always amused how many people ignore the female name and avatar and assume I'm male just 'cause I'm on gaming sites.

    I apologize for asking for feedback on a very minimal site, but I've been working on getting the formatting and coloring on "this campaign":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/ageofworms-ap to something I like before I add a bunch of pages and have to edit them all if I change my mind. I think I'm finally happy with what I've got, but I'd appreciate it if you all would take a look and let me know what you think!
  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,837
    Savannah's "Age of Worms":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/ageofworms-ap
    As you said, a minimal site at the moment. I love the banner, and the background. I would put a background behind the text, perhaps a light green?
    Separating NPCs into location as well as alpha is a great idea. I would make the maps a wiki page for consistency. Overall, a great start!
    killervp
    "A God...Rebuilt":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/a-god-rebuilt
    "Duskreign's First Ever COTM":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/wyrmshadow/wiki_pages/112011

    Just trying to help out.  Changed name from killervp to Gaming Megaverse to match other sites.

  • Savannah
    Savannah
    Posts: 188
    Thanks, glad to know I'm not the only one who likes it :P

    I've tried green backgrounds several times, but they always end up coming out weird, so I think I'll stick with the grey. Probably wise with the maps page -- I'll go do that now (although I'll still have that problem with forums and calendar, I suppose).
  • Baalshamon
    Baalshamon
    Posts: 585
    Savannah, I agree with killvp. the site looks real nice
    Beautiful start on what looks like an interesting campaign.
  • Alias
    Alias
    Posts: 10
    uhh... review my campaign notes "Eralfast" by Alias .. ? Is this where to say these? I am very new but have writting Eralfast. Thank you
  • Beaumains
    Beaumains
    Posts: 132
    Regarding: "Age of Worms":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/ageofworms-ap/wikis/main-page;

    YES! Awesome banner and design; nice intro too! Now please finish the rest so I can find out more.

    I really like the overall structure; it's simple, but should serve readers (and yourself) quite well.
  • Beaumains
    Beaumains
    Posts: 132
    Regarding: "Eralfast":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/eralfast

    1) Consider moving the bulk of your organization to your "Wiki Main Page":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/eralfast/wikis/main-page; the Home Page is best suited for a brief (or lengthy) introduction to your campaign, while the Main Page makes a great hub; if you don't want to lose the default content for the Main Page, just move it to the GM Only section of the page. Just be sure to link to the Main Page from the Home Page for a more fluid transition.

    2) I like the general organization you have; try to apply it more consistently. Also, when you would normally link to a page that simly says "See: [X]" you can link directly by using "[[ "article-name-here" | "link-name-here"]]".

    3) I would up the number of secondary casualties; 15k seems far too low; maybe closer to 15T, especially if you're counting extra-planar casualties.

    4) The Octagon page is a bit wordy and somewhat hard to follow without taking a few extra minutes; try to clean that up if you can; maybe with sub-headings for what it does, its origins, known properties/qualities, etc. The same is true for some other pages, such as the "complicated introduction",

    5) Consider breaking up the "complicated introduction" into your normal introduction and the relevant pages (i.e. "God Wars", "Octagon", etc.).

    6) There appear to be some internal, immediate discrepancies; for example, "They are feared but also deemed unorganized by other peoples. A Kzinti Phlanx
  • HurstGM
    HurstGM
    Posts: 205
    OK so ive been hesitant to review someone elses site as I am FAR from perfect and well i dont like tearing someone else down. However i can see where a review is good or a second pair of eyes. So next person who asks for one ill do that review.
  • Alias
    Alias
    Posts: 10
    Thank you Beaumains, your feedback is very helpful. I appreciate how much time you took to evaluate my little work in progress. I totally agree about the home page - good idea. Good ideas and input all around ! (and feel free to steal anything .. esp. on Gnomes (ha ha)!) I've added many new threads, a new class, and additional stuff in the Codex - it is enjoyable to keep adding and adding (but you are right it will get mired down if I don't streamline or add headings, etc...) Really sincerely appreciate your thorough review. Very Helpful. Thank you.
    - Alias (from Eralfast campaign project)
  • Langy
    Langy
    Posts: 364 edited January 2012
    I'd like it if someone reviewed "Edgerunners":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/edgerunners

    I'm specifically looking for feedback on the design, layout, and what fluff we've got up there. We're still in the planning and construction stages, so it's very much a work-in-progress - there are a number of links that won't currently lead to anything.

    I would also specifically like some feedback on how the site looks at higher resolutions than 1600x900. I _think_ it should be fine, but I have no way to test it. The site also isn't designed for resolutions lower than 1280 wide; thinner than that, and the sidebars will start to disappear.

    Cernig has provided the majority of the fluff for Edgerunners; I've been working more on the crunch (such as the Cybernetics section) and the graphics, design, and layout work.

    I'm thinking about creating a new site banner - I don't think the current one fits all that well, unfortunately. Just need some inspiration. I also still need to pimp out the organization template a little and create better-looking organization logos. EDIT: And it appears I need to fix a few issues with the background; I changed the way it works a while ago, but I may not have rolled it out to the entire site yet. Eventually, it'll work like the Home page - the background image won't scroll.

    I will also note that I've encountered a slight issue with the right-hand sidebars. In the current version of Firefox, those right-hand sidebars interfere with selecting or otherwise clicking on some of the main-body text. This specifically occurs where some of the right-hand links would be if they were in the main body of the page rather than off to the side. It's annoying, and doesn't occur in other browsers as far as I can tell, but I have no idea how to fix it.

    Thank you.
    Post edited by Langy on
  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,837
    Langy's "Edgerunners":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/edgerunners

    Holy crap man! This is beautiful! Good banner, but the backgrounds are some of the best I have seen yet... and that is saying something! I used Firefox, and I did not find the errors you discussed- please pm me with the pages, and I will be happy to test. I would raise the left side bar, and raise the "Edge"... I understand what you are going for, but because of the different viewing resolutions, it will interfere with the ability to pick it. An alternative would be a variation on Arsheesh' background fill method, found "here":http://forums.obsidianportal.com/comments.php?DiscussionID=2350&page=1
    The home page is what you should be going for, and a banner that is darker would be better. The design of the site is easy to follow, the layout is good. Did I mention that the backgrounds are amazing? Will be following this one.
    Sorry could not go above 1600x900...
    killervp
    "A God...Rebuilt":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/a-god-rebuilt
    "Duskreign's First Ever COTM":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/wyrmshadow/wiki_pages/112011

    Just trying to help out.  Changed name from killervp to Gaming Megaverse to match other sites.

  • Langy
    Langy
    Posts: 364
    Thanks; I got a "new banner":http://cdn.obsidianportal.com/assets/98358/EdgeRunners-Banner.png that I think will work better, but I need to wait for Cernig to get online to get feedback from him and put it up if he likes it. It's in the same style as the backgrounds, so should fit the site better.

    The 'Edge Runners' button on the left hand side bar is intended to disappear at lower screen resolutions; it isn't essential (mainly just for decoration, really), and only links back to the index. The right hand 'Edge Runners' icon links back to the top-level page under its heading (for example, in a page under the Locations subheading, it links back to the Setting page), but, again, it's mainly decoration. They're primarily there to frame the 'working area' available for the sidebars - any lower, and it won't show up on a 1280x720 screen (the lowest screen resolution I intend to support). Only problem is that at 1280x728, the buttons get cut in half, which is a tad annoying.

    As for Arsheesh's background fill method, I actually independently figured it out and implemented that myself (at least on the Home page, and a few others - I haven't rolled it out to the whole site yet).

    As for the background itself - thank you. I adapted it from a wallpaper found "here":http://wallpapers.hdesktop.com/miscellaneous-wallpaper/miscellaneous-1920x1200-110040/. It's been shrunk significantly, made to tile, and the colors have been altered, but I didn't create the thing from whole scratch.

    Finally, the problems I was referencing with selecting text occur in the area highlighted in "this image":http://cdn.obsidianportal.com/assets/98359/ProblemArea.png. That is on "this page":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/edgerunners/wikis/cyberware. You'll note that the highlighted area only covers _some_ of the links - 150 pixels to the right of the start of the text, you can once again click things. This only occurs when an item in the right sidebar is on the same vertical level as the text, however.
  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,837
    Try using this code in a test page as your links-
    ==NAME OF YOUR LINK
    ==

    killervp
    "A God...Rebuilt":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/a-god-rebuilt
    "Duskreign's First Ever COTM":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/wyrmshadow/wiki_pages/112011

    Just trying to help out.  Changed name from killervp to Gaming Megaverse to match other sites.

  • Langy
    Langy
    Posts: 364
    You're right - that _does_ look better. I'll roll that out to the rest of the site at the same time as the background update.
  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,837
    Note to everyone... just realized Langy is a player, not the gm! Talk about dedication!

    Just trying to help out.  Changed name from killervp to Gaming Megaverse to match other sites.

  • Langy
    Langy
    Posts: 364
    Actually, Cernig and I are co-GMs on Edgerunners - Cernig has an in-person group that he plays with that's going to be running in the Edgerunners setting, and we're intending to switch GMing duties around occasionally on the Skype game; I don't have a face-to-face group at the moment. Cernig was the one with the Ascendent membership when we started work on it, so he's the 'main' GM on OP. I honestly can't remember whose idea it was to actually start this campaign, but I know we were both planning cyberpunk-like games around the same time, and decided to combine efforts.
  • HumAnnoyd
    HumAnnoyd
    Posts: 224 edited January 2012
    I would love to get a critique of my "Emerald City":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/the-emerald-city Dresden files site. Our group has been playing for over a year now with four different GMs to date. I have run the latest campaign which I just wrapped up tonight. I plan on writing the final Log tomorrow. I would suggest not bothering to read the first entry of the Adventure Log (the Shikigami one). That game was...OK. But the summations are even more challenging. I have never coded before so I leaned heavily on Wolfhound's excellent tutorials from his DFRPG Dallas site.

    Why isn't the link working?
    Post edited by HumAnnoyd on

    November 2012 CotM:  The Emerald City

    June 2016 CotM:  Star Wars: Rise of the Infinite Empire

    June 2020 CotM:  Mass Effect Accelerated

    Current Campaigns:  Dresden Files Accelerated:  Emerald City-Requiem 

  • Cernig
    Cernig
    Posts: 60
    Thanks for all the constructive crit, help and kind words on Edgerunners, folks. As Langy explains, we really are co-GMs on this one - it was just that I had the Ascendant membership when we began and the wiki as we want it is image-heavy. We're delighted to hear any suggestions for improvements, either in content or style, so keep 'em coming!

    Regards, C
  • Cernig
    Cernig
    Posts: 60
    Oh, and the new banner is now in place.
  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,837
    HumAnnoyed-
    The way to make the link work is "this":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/the-emerald-city
    =="The Emerald City":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/the-emerald-city==
    Actually, looking at it again, I don't know why it did not work... will do review tomorrow.
    killervp
    "A God...Rebuilt":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/a-god-rebuilt
    "Duskreign's First Ever COTM":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/wyrmshadow/wiki_pages/112011

    Just trying to help out.  Changed name from killervp to Gaming Megaverse to match other sites.

  • FrankSirmarco
    FrankSirmarco
    Posts: 250
    Well, I've been working on my next project, which is running my RPG group through the Pathfinder Adventure Path, Kingmaker. I've got the basics up-and-running "here":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/elmhurst-geeks-and-the-kingmaker-chronicles, and would love some input from the GMs at-large.

    This is pretty straight-forward stuff - in fact, there's very little original content at this point. But comments on overall look, wiki pages, intro video, etc. would be greatly appreciated.

    Thanks in advance!
  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,837
    HumanNoyd's "The Emerald City":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/the-emerald-city

    Just added this to my faves... and had never seen it before the review.

    *Start Page-* Great Start!! Good banner, awesome custom background! Definitely see the wolfhound influence, and nice custom newspaper, FrankSirmarco would be proud. My only issue is the length! Would move the characters and logs into wikis, and streamline it.
    *Adventure Logs-* Good logs. Love the custom background carryover, and the way you change the picture each chapter. I wish that you would include another picture for color in the longer logs.
    *Wiki-* Drop the "all wiki pages" link, please. Again, really good, but just too long. Streamline this into categories- leave the descriptions for the internal pages. There is a lot of good stuff here, and a lot of it, just needs streamlining. Would also shrink the pic of Seattle at the top.
    *Characters-* Some good stuff, but lacks consistency. For instance look at Stacy Keene vs Roy Mullenix.
    *Overall-* I do not know if it is Wolfhound, Dresden, or what, but it seems that every Dresden game has creative, good sites! If you streamline this a lot, and check consistencies, you will have a COTM candidate. Good Luck, and thanks for sharing!

    killervp
    "A God...Rebuilt":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/a-god-rebuilt
    "Duskreign's First Ever COTM":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/wyrmshadow/wiki_pages/112011

    Just trying to help out.  Changed name from killervp to Gaming Megaverse to match other sites.

  • HumAnnoyd
    HumAnnoyd
    Posts: 224
    Thanks Killervp! I really appreciate the feedback.

    Start Page- I feel that I should point out that the main background I used came from the DFRPG website. I adapted it into my buttons and the like but I didn't create it myself. I did make it tile though so it worked better on the site. Hmm. If I moved the characters and logs though then there would be nothing there except the newspaper. Although I guess I could have custom images and buttons to take you to the adventure logs and PCs I guess. I will consider that.

    Adventure Logs- Great idea on adding other pictures. I will certainly do that. Might be a while though.

    Wiki- Yeah that "All Wiki Pages" was just a tool for my own use to be honest. I moved it to the GM only section. I am not sure about making all the items on the Wiki separate. In the DFRPG they belong to the overall rules for City Creation and are considered one unit. But I will consider it. It does make for a very long page.

    Characters- Stacy was an NPC that one of the players wanted to run for the current story line. Which wrapped up this past Sunday. That player was the one who added her and I haven't had a chance to dress up her page or fix the format for her yet. And that applies to all the NPCs for that matter. Some were added by me and some were added by the other past GMs of the campaign. Which accounts for the varied formats. I have only been adding all the graphics to the site over the last month and haven't had the time (or the willpower for that matter) to give them all the same treatment. In fact I was considering just leaving the NPCs as is. There are so many of them that it would take forever to do them all. The portraits were something that I did for them over a year or more of play though.

    Again I really appreciate the constructive criticism. I think you have made a lot of valid points and I will likely adopt some if not all of them. Thanks.

    November 2012 CotM:  The Emerald City

    June 2016 CotM:  Star Wars: Rise of the Infinite Empire

    June 2020 CotM:  Mass Effect Accelerated

    Current Campaigns:  Dresden Files Accelerated:  Emerald City-Requiem 

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