The "Review my Campaign" thread

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  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,876
    Yes!! A new DMLoki Campaign!! And Spelljoined is coming back! Much happiness!
    killervp
    "A God...Rebuilt":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/a-god-rebuilt
    Duskreign's "COTM for November 2011":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/wyrmshadow/wiki_pages/112011

    Just trying to help out.  Changed name from killervp to Gaming Megaverse to match other sites.

  • twiggyleaf
    twiggyleaf
    Posts: 1,728 edited December 2011
    The SEX section and the Ash's Guide to RPG Personality in DMLoki's new site are worth a delve into.


    twiggyleaf
    "Shimring - The Faces of Divinity":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/shimring
    (a multiplanar 3.5 D&D campaign)
    Post edited by twiggyleaf on

    "I met a traveller from an antique land....."

    CotM May 2016: Mysteria: set in Wolfgang Baur’s MIDGARD.

    Previous CotM Aug 2012: Shimring: High Level Multiplanar Campaign

    Inner Council Member

  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,876
    I will do reviews on Spelljoined and Dark Sun a Trova by the end of the weekend.
    killervp
    "A God...Rebuilt":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/a-god-rebuilt
    Duskreign's "COTM for November 2011":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/wyrmshadow/wiki_pages/112011

    Just trying to help out.  Changed name from killervp to Gaming Megaverse to match other sites.

  • Morrinn
    Morrinn
    Posts: 166
    * Manifestation of Chaos

    *The Layout*
    Your campaigns biggest problem has to be the layout. There's been mixed usage gotten out of the two default 'main pages', that is to say the "Home" page and the "Wiki" page, accessible from the default navigation bar.
    The most common usage for these two pages is to utilize the 'Home' page as a welcome mat where the DM puts up a campaign summary, with a little fluff and art to set the scene, and then use the 'Wiki' page as central navigation throughout the campaign, but there have also been some more creative uses done with these default options.
    Now, what you've done is utilize the 'Home' page as the central navigation, which is a little disorienting but not a big problem, and then the 'wiki' page is used to hold nothing but the experience distribution for your past sessions, which is kind of weird.
    The rest of the wiki reads much like a book. You select a chapter then just click the bottom link for the next page. The navigation isnt bad, but could definatly be improved.
    I'd suggest a complete overhaul for the wiki layout. Leave the manifest images on the Welcome page and move the core rules and supplement information to the Wiki page. Next, I'd suggest you keep your book style navigation with the addition of a Back and Home link at the bottom of each page.


    *The Fluff*
    There was a whole lot of fluff and I didn't have time to read all of it, but you do seem to have a firm grasp on the storyline, which is good. I was a little surprised to see Aegon Baratheon turn up in a world seemingly unrelated to Westeros...
    The adventure posts are a also a little meticulous and the logs could do with being broken up using the code. Lastly the character sections could do with a more unified look, and some more character details, but of course, getting player participation can be a real bitch.

    *The Art*
    The campaign is pretty empty of artwork, I definitively think some of the pages, particularly the adventure posts, could benefit with some decorations.

    *Overall Feeling*
    As far as I can tell, your campaign site is primarily used to house your campaign sessions and house rules, which is well and good and probably serves that purpose well but the presentation could use a lot of work.

    _I give it a 5/10_
  • Morrinn
    Morrinn
    Posts: 166
    Apologies for multiposting...

    * Rise of the Rune Lords

    *The Layout*
    I'll have to admit that I've never been a big fan of navbars. I can understand the appeal, but formatting whole pages around it can be a challenge, constantly updating every page is a real hassle and can lead to some broken links and as for layout, it really squashes the page together and limits your workspace considerably.
    As for your main page, it seems like it's primary purpose is to guide the viewer through the rest of the campaign, but seeing as you already have a nav-bar with all the same links, I'm thinking that perhaps this space could be used more productively.
    Ultimately, you seem to have done very well with the navigation, so I really wouldn't suggest you change things up mid stream.
    You seem to have a fairly good grasp on the coding and layout feel, and I'm pretty impressed with how tight the layout is.
    I do feel that the some pages (Spells and Locations specifically) could benefit from a more unified look and perhaps some of the items pages could be integrated into actual campaign items.
    There are also the small problem with some Wiki page names, like the harrowing chapters, that are titled at the top as "Chapter2Harrowing". It's a nitpicking issue, but something I figure you might want to amend.

    *The Fluff*
    Your runelords story features some very well written and interesting stories. I might suggest you place some
  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,876 edited December 2011
    My review of "Dark Sun A Trova":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/dark-sun-a-trova

    *Start Page* This is what got me to start doing videos, I just wish mine were this good. Some of the lines are phenomenal as well "obscene magic" "turns vegetation into coal" Really conveys the heat and despair of the dragon and the desert. I would move the "To survive" and acknowledgement sections to the wiki.
    *Adventure Logs* I wish you put actual text, rather than just read more. The logs again have snippets, little bits, of great lines. You have to search for it- leave the logs out for people to get into it. While the artwork often is straight out of Dark Sun, I like the majority of it.
    *Wiki* Really top notch! One of the best wikis- organized, attractive, and plenty of info.
    *Characters* The only not fleshed out section- hopefully with all the hard effort that you have put in you can get your players to do some on their bios.
    *Overall* The one thing I think this lacks are backgrounds. Other than some formatting and personal style choices, this is a great site! Keep up the awesome work!!
    For those that have never checked this out- shame on you. Throw it on google translate if you need the english, but it speaks past language barriers.

    killervp
    "A God...Rebuilt":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/a-god-rebuilt
    Duskreign's "COTM for November 2011":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/wyrmshadow/wiki_pages/112011
    Post edited by GamingMegaverse on

    Just trying to help out.  Changed name from killervp to Gaming Megaverse to match other sites.

  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,876
    I, like Morrinn above, apologize for the multiple posts in a row.

    My review of "Spelljoined":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/spelljoined

    This one is hard for me, as it is on my must read list, so I hope someone else reviews this as well, as I may be a bit biased.
    *Start Page* I'll be honest, this is not a great page. Does not grab you, does not say there is a lot here... The banner is good, and the sidebar is also. The brief description is also fine, but the game info should go into a wiki page. The pic should be something a little stronger...
    *Wiki* Again, only an average pic, and would keep the rules in a rules page. The organization is a little haphazard. That being said, holy crap batman, that is a lot of info. Good info as well, and who is not into any wiki that has a separate section for sexual prowess.
    *Characters* Not as much here as you would expect.
    *Adventure Logs* The reason I saved this for last this time is, in my opinion, these are the greatest logs on Obsidian... bar none. Most are written by one of the players, Kenari, but others write as well. They are funny, action-packed, and/or emotional... conveying the game and the situation in character. Once you start you will be addicted.
    The artwork on the logs is also done by 2 characters, and is as top-notch as the writing.
    *Overall* After writing this review, I take back my bias statement- the bottom line is the site is ok, in the top 20%, but no one, not one, comes close to the quality of art and prose in the logs! I highly recommend this site as well.

    killervp
    "A God...Rebuilt":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/a-god-rebuilt
    Duskreign's "COTM for November 2011":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/wyrmshadow/wiki_pages/112011

    Just trying to help out.  Changed name from killervp to Gaming Megaverse to match other sites.

  • Pils
    Pils
    Posts: 149
    Thank you Killervp !

    I was in demand for help and advice and you was here, I have to work now !

    And thanks for the compliment too... but I want to precise I find my impulse with all the inspirational DM & campaigns (like yours) on the OP .

    -Pils

    Dark Sun ● La Décade des Héros : Face the Fire of the Dark Sun... a World ravaged by Sorcery! (CotM - Dec 2012)

    Les Royaumes Oubliés : A D&D 5e old school style Forgotten Realms campaign!

    (And I'm so soooorry for my poor english...)

  • DungeonMasterLoki
    DungeonMasterLoki
    Posts: 297
    Thanks Killervp!

    Just what I was looking for. I ave to admit that no matter how much work I put into the wiki it will never come close to the journals Kenari writes. Truly the main draw of the campaign from an outsider's perspective.

    Since I'm getting my new campaign together I'll be taking your input (and anyone else's) under advisement as I fine tune things.

    I'm curious, the main page of the wiki seemed haphazard? I'd love a little more detail about the organization, once you've put in a number of hours of staring at it things don't neccessarily register.

    Thanks again!

    Planejammer Panopticon: Central Hub for the Planejammer Campaign Series

    Current Active Games:

    Planejammer: Catch My Drift! (Starfinder RPG)

    Planejammer: The Spelljoined (Pathfinder RPG) Campaign of the Year 2011

     

  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,876
    Colors- Dark Blue, light blue, black... not consistent in color.
    I think a cleaner look would be rather than putting all the links, put just categories, like rules, planewalking, etc. Have the visitor click the category for more detail... again, just my opinion...
    killervp
    "A God...Rebuilt":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/a-god-rebuilt
    Duskreign's "COTM for November 2011":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/wyrmshadow/wiki_pages/112011

    Just trying to help out.  Changed name from killervp to Gaming Megaverse to match other sites.

  • DustinSaunier
    DustinSaunier
    Posts: 1
    Hey crew. As you mentioned and we all know, we just aren't getting the recognition from our players we should be. They think this is easy? (I'd like to see a few of them try it.)

    Anyway, if you have some time check out my Expedition to Castle Ravenloft campaign.

    http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/castleravenloft

    As far as I can tell it is the only Obsidian Portal Ravenloft game true to the adventure module. I'll be attempting to pump out the rest of 3.5's Expedition series. We have started Ruins of Greyhawk and I'll pick up an ascendant membership to finish up with Demonweb Pits and Undermountain. Let me know what you think.
  • Baalshamon
    Baalshamon
    Posts: 585
    "*Expedition to Castle Ravenloft* ":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/castleravenloft

    DustinSaunier, I have been a fan of Ravenloft since I first played it at a GenCon Convention back in 1983 or 84. I have converted the original module to nearly every game system I have ever played so I will be a bit biased just for old times sake. lol I am going to be a bit critical and I hope my thoughts help you make a better page.

    *Start Page:* Very basic and not impressive at all. The image is grainy and the content gets the point across but it doesnt grab you. Needs much improvement.

    *Characters:* The player characters were lacking severly with empty character sheets, no descriptions, and only an image. This needs to be ammended as soon as possible. Good character backgrounds are the meat of the character. They make you want to know more about the character and to follow him or her on their adventures. When I got to the NPC's I saw very basic info. Much like the players, I like to see fleshed out NPC's with a little more detail. Still what you have is a good start.

    *Adventure Logs:* These are very nice and honestly I will be following this page just because they were such a pleasant read. I would love to see other players write something but still this is the best part of your page. The added artwork into the logs is awesome and the fact you are using some art from the Ravenloft books is very cool. Now one thing that irked me was at the end of the adventure logs, you left the intro message from OP. "_Every campaign gets an Adventure Log, a blog for your adventures!_" Get rid of it.

    *Overall:* The site is too new to give a great review but I think what you have done has good potential. I liked the tour of Barovia and think you set it up nicely. It brought back many fond memories. Ravenloft is a great setting and if you just spice the page up a little you will have a top notch site. I hope that you continue to grow the site and continue writting good logs. It will keep me coming back. As is the page is too basic to really rate I may come back and revisit this review after you do some more work on it.. Good Luck.

    -Steve
    "Star Trek Late Night":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/star-trek-late-night
  • GunslingerElite
    GunslingerElite
    Posts: 1
    If the opportunity arises, take a look at our paean to '80s action movies:

    http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/cop80
  • HurstGM
    HurstGM
    Posts: 205
    Ladies and Germs boys and girls I have a new game it has not started yet so i know there is some missing content but i would like a cursery review anyway.
    here she is "The Broken Road":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/private-while-under-construction
    Its a rifts adventure so its going back to my RPG roots. So lok around i posted the video today and let me know what you think

    Also for gun slingers game here is a fast link
    "Cop80":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/cop80
  • RaseCidraen
    RaseCidraen
    Posts: 890 edited December 2011
    "*A God...Rebuilt*":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/a-god-rebuilt

    *The Layout*

    Well, after landing on the front page, something that grabs my eye immediately is the white space and the square-ness of the Icons. I like that you've taken a view towards using a unified color scheme, and it really works in your favor. Also, did you mean for the navigation bar images on the left to constantly switch around? On any given page, it's different than the one that came before. The home page doesn't have videos, etc.. I think a better layout would be, similar to selecting a tab, when you pick "Videos", the "Videos" link becomes a different colored image that doesn't actually have a hyperlink associated with it. So it kind of hammers home "I am now in videos". It's also a little jarring to switch between the ankhs and the heiroglyphs.

    Also, the items tab doesn't seem to be quite as cohesive - each of the items could probably stand to have a defined div behind them, to make sure that "This":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/a-god-rebuilt/wikis/eledor doesn't happen, where half the item has a background, and half doesn't.

    I love the Palladium map that you have, but it's hard to tell which regions are where. The primary map is nice, but is it mainly used as a reference, or did you eventually want to turn it into an image map and have it point places.

    I have noticed a lot of problems with broken images, like "here":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/a-god-rebuilt/adventure-log/who-are-you and "here":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/a-god-rebuilt/wikis/campaigns which show a little x in the corner. Also, on the main page, the sudden image break is a bit jarring - I would recommend, if you keep that background, make the image twice as tall, then mirror it where it normally end. That way you get a seamless transition (Light blue -> Dark Blue -> Dark Blue -> Light blue, then the image repeats).

    *The Fluff*

    On a quick side note, I find Chip's character to be hilarious. But I've always gone in a lot for puns. I love that you have a system for tracking donations, and that you actually bother to track recent updates. I love that there's so much information, so much contribution from your characters. It could use a format update here and there - a lot of the time it does look like a wall of text. "This":
    http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/a-god-rebuilt/adventure-log/when-life-gives-you-lemons-have-a-lemon-party is great, but there are some problems when it comes to readability. The background isn't helping it there.

    The regions could use a bit...more? There's some good description, but I can't help but think that maybe a picture could say a little more, in addition to the text. Have to say that I love the "Back" icons. Those are very smart. A lot of your NPCs are missing descriptors - I know they're a pain to come up with, but they do add a lot of flavor to a campaign, just knowing the people that the cast interacts with had lives before they got disrupted by the PCs (And not always in a good way)

    *The Art*

    The overall art quality on the site is very good, with the exception of the navigation icons on the left (I think they might look better round, but that could just be me.) Overall, the style is very consistent, which is a very, very good thing.

    *Overall Feeling*

    Overall, I'm jealous - this seems like a very fun campaign to be involved in, and I'm glad to offer any services you require to help you improve it. There's a solid foundation of information and attention to detail here, and this is something that I'm striving to emulate with my own!
    Post edited by RaseCidraen on
  • ketherian
    ketherian
    Posts: 203
    Belated thanks to you both KillerVP and Morrin.

    Two small items of note: first, I'm not a paying member. Which means, I have no access to backgrounds, fancy layouts, etc. I appreciate the advice along this line KillerVP, but until I pony up the money I cannot take your advice regarding backgrounds, layouts, or adding all the images from the adventure log (et al) to the local image repository. Secondly: The Adventure log and all those wonderful graphics along with the character icons and a handful of the wiki pages are the work of one of the players in the game. I'll pass on the advice about breaks. I'm not surprised you prefer his work over mine (he's a graphics artist and spends almost as much time working on the site as I do).

    I have taken the comments from both of you regarding layout and organization to heart, and have already begun working on removing dead links and restructuring a few pages.
    I really appreciate the help.
  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,876 edited December 2011
    Thanks for the review Rase!! I have finished editing the items and performers so that the backgrounds are complete. Changed both the start and home pages. I got rid of the image errors. Will be tackling the map and regions next.
    These reviews really help improve sites!
    killervp
    "A God...Rebuilt":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/a-god-rebuilt
    Duskreign's "COTM for November 2011":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/wyrmshadow/wiki_pages/112011
    Post edited by GamingMegaverse on

    Just trying to help out.  Changed name from killervp to Gaming Megaverse to match other sites.

  • Beaumains
    Beaumains
    Posts: 132
    Okay, before I get too carried away, I thought I'd at least see what some people think as to whether I'm on the right track. I'd like to submit the campaign I've been poking at for the last year or so: "The Chronicles of Erdon":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/erdon - yes, I know, not the most creative title, but original, last I checked. I would especially appreciate feedback from those who have been persistently reviewing campaings, including Rase and killer, who have already given me a few bits. As this forum can get very extensive with everybody posting extensive reviews in-thread, I'll ask everyone who is willing to review my campaign to *+please post your feedback+* "*here*":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/erdon/comments. (I realize that Christmas is right around the corner, so if anyone would like to review the campaign, but cannot do so right away, please be sure to message me and let me know.)

    A couple of notes:
    1) "Acheron" does not refer to the Outer Plane of the same name; that was a bonehead mistake and will most likely be edited (else I have to reconcile them, right?)
    2) The campaign world is far from complete in presentation, as evidenced by all the red lettering, and I hope the final presentation will look a lot more like some of the more famous campaigns around here, which I've purposefully avoided delving too deeply into.

    I'd particularly like to know:
    1) Except where obvious (e.g. clear stubs), is there any content that needs improvement, clarification, rewording, etc.? Some entries are purposefully written a certain way, such as the Legends, so please bear that in mind, but I do want everything to be legible. Are there any inconsistencies (especially major ones)?
    2) What important elements or entries are missing? Is there anything that just *begs* for an explanation?
    3) Am I reinventing the wheel too much? The environment is D&D 3.5, though I have added one or two minor things (e.g. new skill) where I thought absolutely critical to a full development of the campaign setting.
    4) Does the campaign look interesting or even fun; a game you might like to join (if able) or even run?

    Thanks in advance for all constructive feedback (critical and otherwise)!

    - Beaumains

    P.S. I'm going to try to keep from fidgeting with the campaign for a few days, at least publicly, so that anyone reviewing will be on the same page as much as possible. If I do make public changes, I'll do my best to post them "here":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/erdon/adventure-log.
  • Sulaco
    Sulaco
    Posts: 1 edited December 2011
    Howdy all. My first post to the forums.

    I'm currently in _very_ early days of putting together a site for an upcoming game in parallel with prepping the game itself. I'd love to have some experienced eyes look it over to see how you think it's coming along and, of course, I am open to any words of advice and suggestions from all you old-hands.

    "Hearts of Iron":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/hearts-of-iron

    Cheers, and thanks.

    PS - I am currently working solely with the free content on the site at the moment, though I intend to move to paid support in the new year.
    Post edited by Sulaco on
  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,876
    Sulaco-
    Hard to review any campaign that has so little, but the quote is cool, and you will have to share the deceased banners on the characters page... in other words, good beginning, but you need a lot more.
    Beaumains-
    Will get to yours within a couple of days, but it will be posted here. The purpose of this thread is to share, not only with the person being reviewed, but everyone. I have picked up pointers from other sites being reviewed... so they all should stay here...
    killervp
    "A God...Rebuilt":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/a-god-rebuilt
    Duskreign's "COTM for November 2011":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/wyrmshadow/wiki_pages/112011

    Just trying to help out.  Changed name from killervp to Gaming Megaverse to match other sites.

  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,876
    Ok, so was looking over the thread, and this one is way overdue- first off, my apologies. Second, "Honour Among Thieves":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/honour-among-thieves is one of the most popular sites on the Portal for good reason, so I am hard pressed for critique, but will give it a go.
    Start page: Sometimes simplicity works. This is a perfect example. It focuses on the fact that this game has existed since 2006, and that is truly something to be proud of. The rest of us resort to backgrounds, humor, videos, and/or bells & whistles- this does not need to.
    Adventure log- Would love to see some pics/color here, but wow... great logs, and for those of you that have not read yet- get to it.... Prepare for addiction.
    Wiki- Again, a little spartan. Would add some pics/background and a little spice. The summary section of the campaign is phenomenal! Great way to sum up 5 years of gaming.
    Characters- With 2 + years on the Portal, and this much to draw on, I would hope for more detail and personality/insight.
    Overall- Needs color and pics, but the logs and the meat are great!
    killervp
    "A God...Rebuilt":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/a-god-rebuilt
    Duskreign's "COTM for November 2011":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/wyrmshadow/wiki_pages/112011

    Just trying to help out.  Changed name from killervp to Gaming Megaverse to match other sites.

  • Brandonsweet
    Brandonsweet
    Posts: 13
    Thanks for the feedback Killervp, I really appreciate it!

    Kudos to anyone who reads through the adventure logs - I know they are rather lengthy! I should take steps to make sure they are easier on the eyes with some images and so on.
  • RyanQuirt
    RyanQuirt
    Posts: 2 edited December 2011
    I will throw my game into the fire

    About to start this one once the holidays are done. Let me know what you think.

    "Colonial Evil":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/colonial-evil/wikis/main-page
    Post edited by RyanQuirt on
  • Ignus3
    Ignus3
    Posts: 6 edited December 2011
    very glad I found this thread, I am like one of the earlier posters in that I am extremely externally motivated.

    I'm using this as both an outlet for my writing itch (don't be afraid, I don't post stories, only wiki-esque background! XD), and as a reference to a campaign world I would like to run a game in, or maybe someday make a video game /write a book in. Just an excuse to make an extremely rich vibrant world.

    "Galoren":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/galor


    Also, if anyone has a tip to change the url from galor to galoren, I tweaked the world name after writing a few pages for it and am not sure how to update that without re-doing everything.
    Post edited by Ignus3 on
  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,876
    Promised to review Beaumain's "Chronicles of Erdon":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/erdon so here goes- as he detailed, a far from complete site, so not a standard review.
    1- Improvements- First, the obvious- text heavy with no color or pics. Some pages have caps as titles, some are in small case. Thieves guild link is a circle. I would make a separate page for each of the deities, rather than the long religions page. The link for the barbarians is a bit clunky, requiring a second link. Monasteries leads to religion, even in the military organizations section. Am I correct that the campaign menu is the summary of all of the campaigns?
    2- Finish the dead links, then the ? of what is missing can be answered.
    3- Homebrew is a personal choice- if you and your players like it, then it is the right answer.
    4- Beginnings of a very rich world, which is, in my opinion, what is needed for fun.
    killervp
    "A God...Rebuilt":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/a-god-rebuilt
    Duskreign's "COTM for November 2011":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/wyrmshadow/wiki_pages/112011

    Just trying to help out.  Changed name from killervp to Gaming Megaverse to match other sites.

  • Beaumains
    Beaumains
    Posts: 132
    Thanks killervp, I'll be sure to address those things as soon as possible!
    Yeah, I'm definitely planning to have a lot more imagery and styling when this is finished, but I want to make sure the setting _is_ finished (or nearly so) before it _looks_ finished.
    I didn't want to build too much onto the existing pantheon(s), except insofar as their roles pertain to Erdon; but I will carefully consider that development. There are definitely a number of pages that will need to be redone.
    The barbarians are underdeveloped, mostly because I intended an entire campaign to explore that culture, but since those first two campaigns are highly related, and to at least one of the others, that will likely develop a lot more.
    As may be more or less obvious, I am trying to balance how much material I want to keep secret; thanks for catching some of those dead-end links.
    The campaign menu is a summary of all of the campaings, or at least the ones I've yet to have ideas for; but those first two may turn out to be miniature sub-settings themselves - the barbarian campaign almost certainly will.

    I'm not exactly sure what you mean by "homebrew" - except that it applies to what I've done so far, could you elaborate on that so that I can figure out if there's something else I'd prefer to try? I've actively tried to keep things as 'standard' as possible, except that there are underlying concepts that may alter some of these things (e.g. the moons, elemental regions, etc.)

    Thanks for the compliment, I have definitely tried to lay in a foundation that will be "rich" indeed (I hope).


    On a side note, I asked that reviews be posted where I quick-linked, only to save immediate space, figuring that any third parties interested in said reviews would simply follow those links as well, though I do see your point. I'll re-post your review "there":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/erdon/comments for ease of access, if you don't object.
  • KenSee
    KenSee
    Posts: 93
    Hey guys,

    I will be running a Pathfinder campaign this coming semester at school.
    Currently my site is close to going live, so I thought I would ask for a "Preliminary Review" meaning I would like you to look at my structure and my site and give me feedback on what I could do better in terms of organization, presentation, and coding.

    Thanks in advance!

    Ken See
    "Paths of Destiny":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/paths-of-destiny-ken
  • Beaumains
    Beaumains
    Posts: 132
    Regarding KenSee's campaign "Paths of Destiny":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/paths-of-destiny-ken/

    First off, I like the simplicity and almost natural flow that characterizes the structure. It seems to have an internal consistency that is very good. I can't comment too much on the coding, but I'm sure there are plenty here who can, or can point you to one of the resident gurus. However, I thought I might suggest a few possible improvements on the presentation, structure, organization, etc.

    1. You might consider creating a more direct link to the main wiki page (world/rules/story).

    1b. Some of the pages could use better nav options. For example, the World mainpage could use a "Back to Main Page" link. On a side note, that particular link might be redundant on some of the subsequent pages.

    2. You might want to clarify the "Story" link so that people understand that it is essentially the campaign log - perhaps a subtitle?

    3. You might consider grouping all of the main geographical links (the towns & continent links) under a unifying UberSection (e.g. Geography).

    3b. The "Province of Cobhsai" should have a direct link +from+ the World Page, or at least the Continent Page. There is also an odd link to the Rules Page that I don't really get - perhaps it needs clarification?

    4. The races would be better presented with more space between them. Perhaps you can alternate them down the page (i.e. left-right-left-right). Also consider placing the race names centered beneath each portrait.

    4b. What I'm most interested in as an observer (and would be were I a prospective player) is how the races fit into the world. How do the races (and subraces) interact in your particular world? i.e. are there any quirks? Do elves and dwarves get along well enough, or is there bad blood there? You do fairly well with the Orcs in this regard, since they are typically a monstrous race, but even there the description is lacking for a player who might want to figure out how an orc would get involved with the other races in a cooperative manner. Reading through (skimming actually) I see bits and pieces of this throughout, as it pertains to a particular article - which is good - but there needs to be a more concentrated article that runs over, or at least references these things.

    5. In the Cobhsai Village, you should identify the establisments by type, just like you do for Trader's Point, even though you currently only have two of them there. Alternatively you might briefly tag the establishments with a Type ID (e.g. The Horse Lord - inn *OR* The Horse Lord - a typical little inn/the only inn in town).

    6. Consider linking the geographical pages to their corresponding maps, or even embedding the map images (as shortcuts even) into the wiki pages for easy reference.

    7. You need to "wiki-fy" more. I see a number of pages with references to other (existing) pages but no direct link, which could be very helpful since not everyone will approach the campaign from the same direction, or the same order. Similarly there seem to be a number of terms/titles that are left completely unexplained or unexpanded. For example, I can find no direct link between "Elves" and "Grosser Forest" - from either end.

    8. More "Back" links - they make navigation easier and help keep things in perspective. If "Back isn't the exact right word (e.g. maybe the Thieves' Guild operates in more than one city) then a series of links to related pages would also help (e.g. "Cities where the Thieves Guild operates include:").


    Well, that was a bit more than I expected to say; so I'll simply finish by adding that I like the overall feel of the site, and that the use of imagery is also very good. This campaign has a lot going for it, and the fixes are honestly pretty minor - you can easily handle most of these by judiciously adding double-brackets, or the equivalent code, depending on your style.

    Hope this helps!
    -Beaumains
  • KenSee
    KenSee
    Posts: 93
    Wow, thank you so much Beaumains!

    Alot of that was on my to-do list. I just didn't know if I should go ahead and implement them. Now I know it would be a good idea.

    Also, I am still trying to flesh out race relations in the world. Its a touchy subject for some and I don't want to be too tropey.

    Anyway, thank you so much! This was invaluable for me and I can't express my thanks enough, if you need anything shoot me a PM.

    -Ken See
  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,876
    Cool, we have another reviewer! Nice review Beumains!
    killervp
    "A God...Rebuilt":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/a-god-rebuilt
    Duskreign's "COTM for November 2011":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/wyrmshadow/wiki_pages/112011

    Just trying to help out.  Changed name from killervp to Gaming Megaverse to match other sites.

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