The "Review my Campaign" thread

1171820222335

Comments

  • Savannah
    Savannah
    Posts: 188
    Aww, thanks. I figured I might as well do something for my "I'm baaaaack" post instead of just saying I'm baaaack :P
  • Sorceress
    Sorceress
    Posts: 25 edited November 2013
    Hey guys,

    Killervp just reviewed me a little less than a month ago but with the Reforge kind of putting a wrench in the clockwork of my wiki I've been hard
    at work getting back up into working order. Honestly, I've found it much easier to style this time around than the first - could be experience or
    could just be it's easier (I dunno). Anyhow, if anyone has some spare time to slip on over to my wiki and have a look around, break some things,
    kick some tires and let me know what you think I'd really appreciate. It's been hard work so far but I seem to be at an end and I suppose some
    new ideas wouldn't hurt.

    Thanks,
    Sorceress
    "The Hero Academy":https://the-hero-academy.obsidianportal.com/
    Post edited by Sorceress on
  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,998
    Wow, Sorceress- may be a bit before anyone gets to you- but I may be wrong.
    In keeping with tradition, since I reviewed this before, could someone else review?
    killervp
    "A God...Rebuilt":https://a-god-rebuilt.obsidianportal.com
    "OP's COTM April 2012":http://blog.obsidianportal.com/a-god-rebuilt-aprils-cotm/
    Unabashadly pushing for 300 fans!

    Just trying to help out.

  • Thorvaldr
    Thorvaldr
    Posts: 141
    I guess it's finally time for me to throw my hat into the ring:

    DM: *Sorceress*
    Wiki: *The Hero Academy*

    *Theme:* Adorable. I truly love what you're doing here, it's probably the most unique site I've seen on Obsidian Portal. Everything meshes well from the graphics to the font to the colors, and as you put it, is all very whimsical! Every area of the site has a different "feel" without clashing or feeling confusing, and you do a good job of keeping navigation consistent through the horizontal navigation bar.

    *Format:* This could easily be my personal preference, but to me it feels that the space between your main content and sidebars is a bit much. If I'm not using full screen, or zoom in a bit, things start getting smooshed. I'd move your left sidebar in just a tad (cause I do like it out of the way!), and maybe get rid of the padding in your .wiki-page.section area.

    *Front Page:* It's simple, concise, and does a great job of introducing someone to your site and campaign. You do a good job of combining the in-game and out-of-game here with the Grandmaster's speech and friendly introduction.

    *Wiki:* The opening doors to each section of your site are great. I would label your "Wiki" door "About" or "Info" or something along those lines. The Library is very cool with the opening books and scrolls. I also love how you actually turn the pages in the books.

    *Characters:* The PC's character pages are consistent and filled in. Some of the links are broken, but the ones that work are fun. I like how each PC has their own journal section, and I just find the extra character sheet adorable. I love what you're doing with the PC's then and now, and am looking forward to watching that as it updates. In terms of NPC's, you have quite a number! And pictures for them all! And very detailed entries for many, I am impressed. You give good organization to the NPC's, so that if I were in the campaign I feel as if it would be easy for me to find whom I want.

    *Adventure Logs:* I like the mix of Grandmaster and narrator summaries. I'm assuming the second link on each log is the Grandmaster entry, and if so, would label it more clearly. The Year 3 - Part 1 seems to go to Year 2. I also get a bit confused with the difference between years and parts. "The Academy Years - Part Three" has a "Year Three Part 1" link with it, while "The Academy Years - Part Two" just has a "Year Two" link with it, and the first one just says "The Academy Years" and a "Year One Part 1" link. I _think_ you're having parts within parts, and if so, I'd just make the larger parts the years, and split up the years.

    ...I hope that last paragraph made sense. I feel like I was talking in circles. :P But anyways! Well written, and links to the PC's journals.

    *Maps:* Your Hero Academy map is just labeled with numbers, so as an outsider, I don't know what anything is. If threw some text in there, I would have a better reference frame for everything.

    *Overall:* Very little has changed here since Killervp reviewed your campaign. It is quirky, unique, and frankly brilliant to explore. Assuming it keeps going, it definitely should be in the running for CotM. It's easy to see the amount of work you've put in, and even more so, it's good work. It's a simplistic style that belies a complex campaign, and a sophisticated wiki.

    -Thorvaldr
    DM of "Tyellador":https://tyellador.obsidianportal.com/
  • Sorceress
    Sorceress
    Posts: 25 edited November 2013
    Thanks for the kind words Thorvaldr.

    I did a little remodeling to the wiki pages I dunno if I fixed what you were talking about but I kept some padding cause it just made it "look" better. I did move the left sidebar in closer by 35px or so.

    I changed the name of the door wiki to "About Me" but I kept the graphic that says Wiki.. I'll probably change it in the future.

    I changed the Adventure Log names to The Academy Years - Year One/Two...etc.. and I renamed the Grandmasters Logs.. just that Grandmasters Log - Year One - Part 1 for hopefully more ease of following.

    The map of the Hero Academy... long story short - it sucks, it's not formatting properly it's actually supposed to be transparent.. there's a key in the top left but it's hidden cause its blacked out. So as a quick
    fix (since I can't delete it) I dropped some map markers on it with some description of each building and what they are.

    I'd love to make CoTM but I think I need more time playing to get more information inputted to make the wiki feel more active or in use. That's the hard part about a young campaign just not enough information
    to make the masses interested I suppose.

    The dead links on the character pages are my fault. Some players just don't have anything to go into those categories yet. I suppose I could put something up in the meantime as a placeholder. Which is probably
    better than dead links.

    Oh while I'm at it.. I forgot I am having one smallish problem. It's when doing a tag search.. when wiki pages come up with characters most of them have pretty sizable images of themselves and what's happening
    the formatting of those pictures is WAY TOO LARGE for the wiki search and it just looks horrendous. I tried fixining by if I mess with the images it seems to screw with my HTML top Nav Bar I have, so if you have
    any ideas on that lemme know..

    Thanks again,
    Sorceress
    "The Hero Academy":https://the-hero-academy.obsidianportal.com
    Post edited by Sorceress on
  • madartiste
    madartiste
    Posts: 328
    Hi everyone! Since "Rise of Asmodeus":https://greyhawk-636-cy-the-rise-of-asmodeus.obsidianportal.com/ is nearing it's conclusion, our intrepid DM, Davidnic, has been hard at work on the sequel. Provided the current PCs don't mess up and accidentally end the world, we'll pick up 300 years later for "Greyhawk 937 CY:The Age of Steam":https://greyhawk-937-cy-the-age-of-steam.obsidianportal.com/ and I was hoping to get some feedback. We don't have *all* the characters up just yet and there's only one adventure log currently, but there's plenty of stuff in the wiki and elsewhere to give you an idea of how things will look.
    Thanks!
  • twiggyleaf
    twiggyleaf
    Posts: 2,006
    Looks Magic, Madartiste!

    Love them moving gears!!!!

    twigs

    "I met a traveller from an antique land....."

    CotM May 2016: Mysteria: set in Wolfgang Baur’s MIDGARD.

    Previous CotM Aug 2012: Shimring: High Level Multiplanar Campaign

    Inner Council Member

  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,998
    Thanks Thorvaldr, for throwing your hat in- it was a lovely hat.

    Just trying to help out.

  • NikMak
    NikMak
    Posts: 379
    well done madartiste, very nice indeed... almost makes me want to play D&D (ahem sorry) 'Pathfinder' again!
  • madartiste
    madartiste
    Posts: 328
    Thanks twiggyleaf and NikMak! I was rather proud of the gears. Took me much longer than it should've to figure out how to make that work. :D
  • SkidAce
    SkidAce
    Posts: 830
    @madartiste

    I love the last two paragraphs of your overview, very evocative.
  • madartiste
    madartiste
    Posts: 328
    SkidAce, I'll have to pass that comment on to Davidnic. I think he'll be very pleased to hear that. :)
  • HumAnnoyd
    HumAnnoyd
    Posts: 298 edited November 2013
    So I finally got around to Reforging my Mass Effect: Operation Resurgence Campaign in the hopes to get a game of it going again. I would love to hear any suggestions or feedback anyone might have.

    Edit: Why isn't the link working?
    Post edited by HumAnnoyd on

    November 2012 CotM:  Dresden Files RPG: The Emerald City

    June 2016 CotM:  Star Wars: Rise of the Infinite Empire

    JUNE 2020 CotM & 2020 CotY:  Mass Effect Accelerated

    FEBRUARY 2022 CotM & 2022 CotY: Dresden Files Accelerated:  Emerald City-Requiem 

    Current Campaigns:  Traveller Osmium Buccaneers: Pirates of Drinax, Cyberpunk 2077 Accelerated

  • madartiste
    madartiste
    Posts: 328
    HumAnnoyd, it looks great! Wonderfully consistent design, nice color choices, great modern looking font. The adventure log looks fantastic with the photos that have that sort of techy looking graphic edging on them. I like how you used the same sort of overlay for all your character portraits too. The only thing I noticed was that it seems like the very bottom of your banner might be clipped off? It doesn't have the same sort of beveled look as the top and sides, but that might be part of the design. All in all it's very slick and modern looking. It does a great job evoking the setting.
  • HumAnnoyd
    HumAnnoyd
    Posts: 298
    Thanks madartiste. I appreciate the comments.

    I hadn't noticed the banner clipping. Hmm. The image is full and unclipped. Not sure why that is happening. Anyone have any ideas what could cause that?

    November 2012 CotM:  Dresden Files RPG: The Emerald City

    June 2016 CotM:  Star Wars: Rise of the Infinite Empire

    JUNE 2020 CotM & 2020 CotY:  Mass Effect Accelerated

    FEBRUARY 2022 CotM & 2022 CotY: Dresden Files Accelerated:  Emerald City-Requiem 

    Current Campaigns:  Traveller Osmium Buccaneers: Pirates of Drinax, Cyberpunk 2077 Accelerated

  • HumAnnoyd
    HumAnnoyd
    Posts: 298
    OK. Wolfhound figured it out. There is no more banner clipping.

    November 2012 CotM:  Dresden Files RPG: The Emerald City

    June 2016 CotM:  Star Wars: Rise of the Infinite Empire

    JUNE 2020 CotM & 2020 CotY:  Mass Effect Accelerated

    FEBRUARY 2022 CotM & 2022 CotY: Dresden Files Accelerated:  Emerald City-Requiem 

    Current Campaigns:  Traveller Osmium Buccaneers: Pirates of Drinax, Cyberpunk 2077 Accelerated

  • twiggyleaf
    twiggyleaf
    Posts: 2,006
    Beautiful, HumAnnoyd!

    twigs

    "I met a traveller from an antique land....."

    CotM May 2016: Mysteria: set in Wolfgang Baur’s MIDGARD.

    Previous CotM Aug 2012: Shimring: High Level Multiplanar Campaign

    Inner Council Member

  • Nevarre
    Nevarre
    Posts: 2
    Hi folks,

    After the reforging, I was thrown a bit with my campaign, and have had to update it somewhat. I would really like my players to update the Wiki more, put they are a bit freaked out by this new Web thingy. ;) I do have one of my players updating the adventure log though and he's doing a good job (even if it's rather impersonal)

    Anyway, here is my Pathfinder Kingmaker campaign:

    The Conquerors Legacy - https://the-conquerors-legacy.obsidianportal.com

    It's pretty simple in terms of theme, though I would love to do more with it - I guess the important thing is that I'm finding it very useful as a management tool for the game (which is in danger of getting out of control with all the threads going on...)

    Anyway, would welcome any comments and recommendations.

    Thanks!
  • Pils
    Pils
    Posts: 149
    Hi Nevarre, here my little review,

    *Campaign*: "The Conquerors Legacy":https://the-conquerors-legacy.obsidianportal.com

    * *Overall*: you used the "classic OP reforged style", with no CSS customization, and it work fine! I love your banner!!!

    * *Main page*: the video introduction is great, but I preferred more text, the middle part is more a slideshow than an intro. As the banner, titles are perfect.

    * *Adventure log*: as you say, it's rather impersonal, a somewhat fictionalized writing would have been appreciated... but the day-by-day description is original, and you should thanks god having a player who help you ;)
    Maybe you could make the next adventure more enjoyable to read using bold or italic styling, adding some space between paragraph, and insert links for characters, items and places.

    * *Wiki*: the great titles, again, but why is this one of their last appearance? You should make one for every pages! Go!
    In my opinion, a few things to change:
    - I don't think it's the right place for a second introduction paragraph on the main page.
    - Delete the dead link (landmarks, politics...). Note them in the DM only section if you don't want to forget them.
    - Add some images (like the World section).
    - As said before, add some styling (for example, you could quote each rumor, legend... etc.)
    - There is a Character section, why did you make it redundant with NPC description in the Wiki?

    * *Characters*: Great, I will use tags to indicate the "dead, friend, enemy, localization, rank..."

    * *Item and Maps*: it's great, I have nothing to say.

    *Conclusion*: You (and your player) have done a good job with The Conquerors Legacy, just improve a little the readability!

    If you want, here some CSS coding, you have only to paste it:

    /*GENERAL*/

    /* Remove title above banner */
    .campaign-title { display:none; }

    /*Justified text*/
    body {text-align:justify;}

    /*WIKI*/
    /remove page title/
    .wiki-page-name {display:none;}
    .wiki-page-name.title {display:none;}

    /*CHARACTERS*/
    /*Erase "description" and "bio" titles*/
    .character-show .bio h6, .character-show .tagline + div h6 {display:none;}

    I hope I help you, feel free to contact me I you didn't understand my broken english!

    -Pils
    "Dark Sun / La Décade des Héros":https://dark-sun-a-trova.obsidianportal.com/: Face the Fire of the Dark Sun... a World ravaged by Sorcery!
    "Al-Qadim / Golden Voyages":https://aq-golden-voyages.obsidianportal.com/: Who among you dares to challenge the high seas?

    -Pils

    Dark Sun ● La Décade des Héros : Face the Fire of the Dark Sun... a World ravaged by Sorcery! (CotM - Dec 2012)

    Les Royaumes Oubliés : A D&D 5e old school style Forgotten Realms campaign!

    (And I'm so soooorry for my poor english...)

  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,998
    Thanks so much for the awesome review Pils!!!

    Just trying to help out.

  • Nevarre
    Nevarre
    Posts: 2
    Pils!

    Thanks so much for your review! You've definitely given a lot to think about and give me the inspiration and drive to improve the campaign - I really appreciate that!

    Even just pasting the CSS you suggested as made the campaign pages look cooler. :)

    Time for me to update the pages as you suggest!

    THANKS!
  • Pils
    Pils
    Posts: 149
    Glad it helps you!

    -Pils

    Dark Sun ● La Décade des Héros : Face the Fire of the Dark Sun... a World ravaged by Sorcery! (CotM - Dec 2012)

    Les Royaumes Oubliés : A D&D 5e old school style Forgotten Realms campaign!

    (And I'm so soooorry for my poor english...)

  • twiggyleaf
    twiggyleaf
    Posts: 2,006
    It's people like Pils that show off some of the better aspects of our community! Kudos!

    "I met a traveller from an antique land....."

    CotM May 2016: Mysteria: set in Wolfgang Baur’s MIDGARD.

    Previous CotM Aug 2012: Shimring: High Level Multiplanar Campaign

    Inner Council Member

  • Pils
    Pils
    Posts: 149
    Thanks Killer & Twiggy!

    Because of the reforging, many of us are busy and/or irritated, but OP is just a tool for a community, and we are the one who make it living (I don't know if you understand my "anglich", sorry...)

    -Pils
    "Dark Sun / La Décade des Héros":https://dark-sun-a-trova.obsidianportal.com/: Face the Fire of the Dark Sun... a World ravaged by Sorcery!
    "Al-Qadim / Golden Voyages":https://aq-golden-voyages.obsidianportal.com/: Who among you dares to challenge the high seas?

    -Pils

    Dark Sun ● La Décade des Héros : Face the Fire of the Dark Sun... a World ravaged by Sorcery! (CotM - Dec 2012)

    Les Royaumes Oubliés : A D&D 5e old school style Forgotten Realms campaign!

    (And I'm so soooorry for my poor english...)

  • twiggyleaf
    twiggyleaf
    Posts: 2,006
    We understand just fine, Pils

    twigs

    "I met a traveller from an antique land....."

    CotM May 2016: Mysteria: set in Wolfgang Baur’s MIDGARD.

    Previous CotM Aug 2012: Shimring: High Level Multiplanar Campaign

    Inner Council Member

  • Pharaoh
    Pharaoh
    Posts: 1
    Greetings All

    I would love some comments on my Dragonlance campaign I'm running. I have very limited knowledge on coding/banners etc.. but am always looking for feedback to help make my game better...

    I will make an effort to write some reviews myself... (don't expect to get something for free :P )

    https://bond-of-brothers.obsidianportal.com/

    Thanks guys
  • Beaumains
    Beaumains
    Posts: 132
    Regarding "Bond of Brothers":https://bond-of-brothers.obsidianportal.com/,

    The start/home page looks fine, and you hit all the key things; I'd recommend you add something to direct visitors to other parts of your site - even if you don't link - except any parts you're not using at all. I realize that the menu is on the side and convenient, but for someone getting started, they'll have no idea which of those, if any are important; besides, suggesting a next move is always a good way to keep people around your site.

    It's great that you're using the Adventure Logs to follow the story line. My only 2 suggestions: 1) run them through a word processor before posting; one that will check & help the grammar - I realize sometimes you want to play with the grammar a bit (e.g. the stupid half-orc), but those quirks can impede readability if not employed carefully; 2) something needs to be done about the length, especially in the later posts - you don't necessarily need to shorten anything, but it's hard to get into the exciting parts when you have full paragraphs devoted to itemizing the treasure found (for example). Consider linking more, which you should probably do anyway; every time you reference characters, things and places that readers (esp. players) may want immediate access to. There is precious little tag space any more, so wikifying is probably the best way to go about organizing things.

    Your wiki: I like the use of art here (and on the landing/start/home page too), and the brief tutorial. The true wiki catalog could really be cleaned up though. First, get rid of the links to the individual Adventure Log posts altogether, replacing them (if necessary) with a single link to the Adventure Log landing page, with impetus and explanation as to why your reader should check it out. Characters too should be removed from the main wiki page; replaced if necessary with a link to the Characters hub - Instead of a "Player Characters" wiki page, you should just tag the PCs with a "PC" or "Player Character" tag; you should only have character links in the Wiki catalog if you're using wiki pages for characters, which you should not do if you're going to use a character page for them. Next, group all of the wiki pages listed in the catalog and label the groupings (e.g. "Places" or "Locations"). GM-Only stuff (e.g. Session Contents) should never see the light of day (i.e. any mention whatsoever in the public space), it is at best confusing. Consider keeping items with items as items & characters with characters as characters.

    Looking at Udoorin, you may want to be careful about perceived (or actual) hint-dropping; where you say "Even Udoorin can’t cheat death right, even he is not THAT powerful… right???" it just makes me think, 'okay, time to go looking for a tiny metal box' (btw, I sincerely hope it's not a tiny metal box; if it is, you should change that right away). Then again, I've been around the block a couple of times, so your players might not pick up on that. You should also link characters, items, and relevant logs & wikis to each other as much as possible (e.g. amongst his possessions is/was a tome [insert item link]."

    Looking at one of the books, you present a lot of information there that seems . . . out of place. Actually, it's a really intriguing way to handle your religion info; just be sure to use wikis/tags to direct seekers to it. Looking at the maps (which are really nice), the one improvement I see right off the bat is to add relevant links. At least one of them has a bunch of numbers but no legend; but this is really only important if you or your players care about having those details handy in that way.

    Hope this helps!
    -Beaumains
  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,998
    Thanks for doing the review Beaumains- and great to have you active here again!

    Just trying to help out.

  • Beaumains
    Beaumains
    Posts: 132
    No problemo killervp- I'm technically still ghosting, but I'm doing a lot more of it for the foreseeable future.
  • Beaumains
    Beaumains
    Posts: 132
    Regarding "Mass Effect: Operation Resurgence":https://mass-effect-operation-resurgance.obsidianportal.com/,
    @("Mass Effect: Operation Resurgence":https://mass-effect-operation-resurgance.obsidianportal.com/)@

    HTML isn't working in the forums apparently. As to the site itself, I will gladly echo what was said before: very nice visuals; simple, efficient structure (easy to get around); a very exciting and pleasant experience (I could spend days there - must. control. . . . . . aaaaarrghhh!).


    h4. Suggestions:

    1) Personally, I like a sense of flow from the landing page. If you opt not to link directly to the Log, Wiki, etc. sections, I recommend spending at least one line directing your guest's attention to the existing nav bar, perhaps even recommending a starting point for them to visit next. 2) Your map is too small - way too small. It looks like it is a much higher resolution image, which should be taken advantage of. I recommend creating a wiki page for it, which you could link from the existing map, or linking off site. 3) You should consider noting in the Wiki section that in-universe material is referenced off site, at the Mass Effect Wiki, if only as a convenient way to lead a visitor to the rest of the information they might want to know. 4) You might want to link up the Log a bit more. I'm unfamiliar with the Mass Effect games/universe (though I have always been curious), but I look at linking not just as a way for the uninitiated to learn more, but as a way for the initiated to get around easier. If you don't want the off-color to show up all that much, you can alter links so that they appear no different from their context, though that requires some relatively advanced HTML (which is not my expertise).

    5) Being unfamiliar with the systems involved, your character creation section is a bit confusing. On the first point, you associate "phases" with the last 5 aspects, suggesting each one is a progression from the last, but in the header it sounds like you get to pick from a broader array of Aspects, of which some are presented; consider clarifying. Also, in your skill list, you've bolded "Resources" but not "Biotics" - the system is standard (and I like it), but should be applied consistently, so that people looking at the reference material will realize that something has been added.

    Hope this helps!
    -Beaumains
Sign In or Register to comment.

March 2024
Wrath of the Highborn

Read the feature post on the blog
Return to Obsidian Portal

Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Discussions