The "Review my Campaign" thread

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Comments

  • Bondoid
    Bondoid
    Posts: 35
    Well, with incoming OP Reforge, and the knowledge that we will all probably have to rebuild, or at least heavily edit our website to make them work with the new system, figured I should get some feedback first!

    So I can make it even better the second time!

    Would anyone like to review my site! We have been playing for about 3 months.

    "Legacy of Fire":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/our-legacy-of-fire
  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,998
    Review of Bondoid's "Legacy of Fire":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/our-legacy-of-fire
    *Start Page-* Great banner, and good color combinations. It feels hot, with the yellows, reds, and the desert dunes. Nice 40 thieves quote, and very simple- works well.

    *Adventure Logs-* Really great logs! Pics, written by characters- nice work. My only thing would be linking the pc that wrote it, both in the summary and the signature of the log- but that is minor.

    *Wiki-* Lots of info here, and some very cool custom hover over coding! Will hit some of the areas to improve-
    Drop Characters off the Wiki- you already have a characters tab.
    Are Personnae the NPC's? Again, would move that off, and put it into the characters.
    Complete your unfinished pages, even if it is simply "The pc's don't know x yet." Going to dead pages is a pain.

    That all said, this is one really cool page. The hover over is a great thing, and there is some really cool info. Again, really nice work.

    *Characters-* Each one of the 3 PC's have backgrounds and descriptions. Only 2 NPC's listed (see notes above on personnae). Appearance of page is unique, keeps with the theme, and is really well done.

    *Others-* Forum exists, but is not used. Comments are hidden. I would eliminate the forum, and add comments.

    Just trying to help out.

  • Bondoid
    Bondoid
    Posts: 35
    Thanks Killer, some quality advice.
  • dakonofrath
    dakonofrath
    Posts: 3
    Hey guys. I'm pretty new to Obsidian Portal (as a GM) and I wanted to showcase my two campaigns.

    I'm not very good at web design so my campaigns aren't the prettiest. I would love some comments and criticisms on how I can really make my campaigns pop.

    Mostly I'm eager to get my name out there and let people know what I can do as a game master. My friend Loki suggested I post here.

    Here are my two campaigns:

    1. "Kingmaker: Rise of the Dawn Lords":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/kingmaker-rise-of-the-dawn-lords a Pathfinder game.
    2. "Camelot: The Convergence":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/camelot-the-convergence a Numenera game.

    Hope you guys like them!
  • BrianAdamantite
    BrianAdamantite
    Posts: 43 edited September 2013
    "Regnum":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/regnum

    To quote Bondoid:
    "...with incoming OP Reforge, and the knowledge that we will all probably have to rebuild, or at least heavily edit our website to make them work with the new system, figured I should get some feedback first..."

    I would like to submit my game for review.

    Thanks,

    AZ_Rune
    Post edited by BrianAdamantite on
  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,998
    Could someone please review both AZ Rune and dakonofrath please- I unfortunately do not have the time.
    Thanks!
    killervp
    "A God...Rebuilt":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/a-god-rebuilt
    "OP's COTM April 2012":http://blog.obsidianportal.com/a-god-rebuilt-aprils-cotm/

    Just trying to help out.

  • dakonofrath
    dakonofrath
    Posts: 3
    I appreciate the comment Killer. =) I always enjoy finding ways to make my site and my campaign better.
  • Bondoid
    Bondoid
    Posts: 35
    If no one else has gotten to it, Ill definitely take a look tomorrow afternoon or evening.
  • dakonofrath
    dakonofrath
    Posts: 3
    Several people have added one or both of my campaigns to their favorites list. Which I really appreciate!

    To speak to you directly Bondoid, no one has made any comments or reviews yet. But I don't expect people to just jump immediately. I know we all have other things to do. Whenever you have time I'm really easy going.

    Thanks again everyone.
  • Keryth987
    Keryth987
    Posts: 1,047
    *Review of AZ_Rune’s “Regnum”*

    *Home*- Looks good. Colors are good, but kinda limited. Uses the 'shrinking boxes' on the right side, which, my personal preference does not like, but, just personal opinion there. I don;t like it on any of the sites I see it on.

    *Journals*- Written by the players, which is always a plus. Uniform look.

    *Regions*- Visually Impressive map, though the text on it is a bit difficult to read. No information on each Kingdom, however.

    *Cast*- PC writeups are detailed stat-wise, with simple backgrounds. Not bad at all really. One does wonder though, whats with the Captain America shields beneath each character.

    *Items* - No real issues here. Standard item List, though good use of CSS to change colors for links to places or characters.

    *Gallery* Nice collection of artwork made by (I assume) players of the campaign.

    *Maps* - Simple and concise. Maps give nice Continent views of campaign world.

    *Overall* - The site looks nice. Well laid out. More detail about the kingdoms would be nice, especially with the maps and gallery entries mentioning these places. Session synopsis from the GM might be nice as well. Otherwise, not a bad looking site

    Anything I can do to assist, feel free to msg me.


    Keelah Se'lai,
    Keryth
    "Shadows Over New York":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/shadows-over-new-york
    "Campaign of the Month - July 2013":http://blog.obsidianportal.com/shadows-over-new-york-julys-campaign-of-the-month/

  • Bondoid
    Bondoid
    Posts: 35 edited September 2013
    As I am currently in a Kingmaker Campaign, and I do not want to spoil myself! I'm going to have to skip "Kingmaker: Rise of the Dawn Lords":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/kingmaker-rise-of-the-dawn-lords

    Review of Dakonofrath's "Camelot The Convergence":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/camelot-the-convergence


    Home Page:
    Some cool stuff here. The campaign hook write up is interesting. I haven't had a chance to look at the Numenera book yet, so know very little of its flare, but you definitely establish interest. And show some of the themes things of this world. The art, which Im assuming is from the Numenera book, is awesome. If its not from the book, good job hunting done these beautiful provocative images!

    As to the layout, your using one of Wolfhound's css templates. It looks ok, but could definitely use some custimization to round it out. In particular, I dont care for the vivid green your using, it makes me think of street signs!

    I would also definitely suggest making a banner image. If you need a free but fairly powerful paint program check out http://www.getpaint.net/download.html Even something as simple as cropping one of these awesome art peices and adding a title to it would bring a lot to the page.

    Lastly I love interesting fonts, that could also be an easy addition to add a bit more flare. (A lot of people hate cool fonts though...so get your players feedback)


    Adventure Logs:
    Only one so far, but I really dig it. The Journal entry for each day is cool. And the art again is awesome. You should however resize it so that it fits in the pages content area, and doesn't stick out. Also if your going to float images along side text, it helps to add a margin so that the text isnt right on top of the image. In the style element, add margin-right:10px; and adjust to your needs.

    As you progress it might be nice to have a table of contents to quickly look up old adventures.


    The Wiki:
    A good start, for a very fresh campaign. As Numera is so new, I would definitely sugest going nuts with the wiki if you have the time. To make sure everyone has easy access to all the information they need. Finish your dead links! They layout is fine for right now, but as it grows consider taking advantage of the horizontal space on the page in adition to the vertical.


    Characters:
    Your character selection page is nice. Easy and classic (I use the same setup myself!)

    The layout on your character pages is useable, and easy for your players to update which is awesome, considering you are pioneering a new game and I assume OP doesnt have a DST for Numenera yet. The Bio's are pretty short, really just a little more than a few bullets. Not sure if this was the target or not. I always feel people role play better with a fleshed out, day in the life or storytelling, background. I like the character's portraits.


    Items:
    Again sweet pictures, good info.


    Conclusion:
    An awesome start to a new campaign. I am eager to follow and see how everyone enjoys Numenera, Ive been a Monte Cook fan for a while. I would suggest really taking ownership of the stylesheet you are using, and make it your own. But, that said, it is probably worth waiting until after the Reforge.

    Bondoid

    "The Legacy of Fire":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/our-legacy-of-fire
    Post edited by Bondoid on
  • BrianAdamantite
    BrianAdamantite
    Posts: 43
    Thanks, I appreciate your time in looking it over.

    AZ_Rune
    "Regnum - The Fall":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/regnum
  • Bookscorpion
    Bookscorpion
    Posts: 58
    I would appreciate it if one of you could take a look at
    "Shadowrun - The Rat's Nest":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/ratsnest/wikis/main-page

    We've been playing for a while now (I'm a player and part-time GM) but only recently made the switch to Ascendant and began hammering the page into some kind of design. We're going for the look of someone's file system, someone who likes the old school look while still working online and we'd prefer to keep it all simple.
    We're still busy, but please tell me what you think so far.

    Shadowrun: The Rat's Nest - COTM  November 2014

  • pencilneckgeek
    pencilneckgeek
    Posts: 50
    I suppose I've been lurking long enough...

    I would appreciate a look at my "The Dresden Files: Portland":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/dfrpg-portland-weird-squared campaign.

    I have "aggressively borrowed" (i.e. stolen) from some of the best around here, so I'm pretty proud of how it's turned out. We play kind of sporadically, but enjoy it.

    Thanks!

    Pencilneckgeek

    --The Geek

    Current Campaigns:

    Shadows of the Rift : Homebrew Pathfinder Campaign (Campaign of the Month, September 2018)

    The Dresden Files: Portland

    Deadlands: Riders on the Storm

    Velvet & Steel : 7th Sea 2nd Edition

  • Keryth987
    Keryth987
    Posts: 1,047
    *Review of pencilneckgeek’s “The Dresden Files:Portland”*

    *Home*- Looks good. Uses Wolfhound's Green on Black CSS Template to good effect. Banner is simple and effective.

    *Adventure Log*- Well written and full of detail on the events of each session

    *Wiki*- Visually, fairly bland. Contains image links to a ton of information, which, in turn is well detailed, though again, visually bland

    *Characters*- Decent custom layout. Contains all the information needed. Images for every PC and NPC is a plus

    *Items* - No real issues here. Standard item List.

    *Forums* Straightforward. Not alot of utilization, then again, this seems typical of OP players and GM's (I dropped it from my site completely)

    *Maps* - Simple and concise. Several Maps of Portland for easy use

    *Overall* - The site looks nice. Well laid out. Journals from PCs are interesting as is the session synopsis. Simple and too the point site

    Anything I can do to assist, feel free to msg me.


    Keelah Se'lai,
    Keryth
    "Shadows Over New York":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/shadows-over-new-york
    "Campaign of the Month - July 2013":http://blog.obsidianportal.com/shadows-over-new-york-julys-campaign-of-the-month/

  • pencilneckgeek
    pencilneckgeek
    Posts: 50
    Thanks for the review and helpful comments!

    --The Geek

    Current Campaigns:

    Shadows of the Rift : Homebrew Pathfinder Campaign (Campaign of the Month, September 2018)

    The Dresden Files: Portland

    Deadlands: Riders on the Storm

    Velvet & Steel : 7th Sea 2nd Edition

  • Bookscorpion
    Bookscorpion
    Posts: 58
    Apologies to anyone who tried to take a look at the Rat's Nest campaign, it was set to private. And we're having a Firefox-based glitch with our Wiki headers, so it looks a bit wonky at the moment. Working on that.

    Shadowrun: The Rat's Nest - COTM  November 2014

  • Pebbles
    Pebbles
    Posts: 1 edited September 2013
    Yeah, there seems to be a bug in Firefox with border-images, I'm working on that minor thing. Without JS I can't insert browser specific code, but I'll find a way around it. Just needs time fiddling. On Chrome/Chromium it's looking fine. There's no failure in my code, just the interpretation is a little bit glitchy on current Fox. Thank you for review. Thanks to Bookscorpion to get the idea for a review.

    GM of "Rat's Nest":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/ratsnest/wikis/main-page
    Post edited by Pebbles on
  • Sorceress
    Sorceress
    Posts: 25
    Hello again,

    It's been awhile since I popped in here... well it looks like my campaign is about to more or less get under way and I'm busy plodding along on my wiki.
    I've done quite a bit since last I asked so I'm back hoping to get some more insight. My wiki...is... different. It's far from anything innovative, in fact
    it's quite simple. I'm just hoping to get some people to take a look, give me some advice, insight, recommendations ... whatever. Some of it is still
    under construction, missing, or rather there's a vast number of place holders for how i want things to look but we just haven't gotten around to using them yet.

    So really if anyone could take a look... have a chuckle, leave a comment would be great.

    Thanks guys,

    Sorceress
    GM: "The Hero Academy":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/the-hero-academy
  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,998
    Review of Sorceress' "The Hero Academy":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/the-hero-academy
    *Start Page-* First thing- the characters on the side don't work. I viewed it on 3 different screen sizes, and none of them were right. Outside of that, it is a really cool page. The Grandmaster quote is cool, and the rest is also very good. Just drop the characters on the side. I also love anyone that puts Credits on the start page (and to my shock, I was mentioned- thanks- I didn't even know)
    *Adventure Logs-* Only 2, and no pics. However, they are located in "The Sanctum" a really unique and individual way to present them. Love the concept- just need longer logs (written by the players) with pictures.
    *Wiki-* Well, the wiki is cool- a good explanation of what and why. However, to me, the wiki is really the Main Hall- and what a cool place this is. Well organized, cool animations, and just awesome. Great work!
    *Characters-* The Cadets section. Really great look. I just wish there was more meat in the backstories.
    *Others-* There are some great ideas- I especially like the Shrine, with a kill counter by type of creature. There are great ideas here- the campaign is too new to use all of them yet, but I can't wait to see them in use!
    *Overall-* This campaign, as long as it continues, will be a campaign of the month! It is that good- check it out.
    Just get more player involvement, and play more sessions. Fill in all of the dead links. Fresh, great ideas!

    As always, my 2 cents...

    Just trying to help out.

  • nightstorm
    nightstorm
    Posts: 74
    I've been reworking this campaign and I'm about to play it this week on Thursday, 4pm pacific. Please let me know what you think and PLEASE click like. Thanks.

    http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/phantasma
  • AKA13
    AKA13
    Posts: 1
    Always want feedback, does writer good:

    http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/god-builders-denver-colorado - oriental themed Pathfinder game

    http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/fraction-of-a-faction - post Apoc game, unsure of the system right now as the people I have talked to do not want to play Palladium Rifts so I may end up changing it.
  • Thorvaldr
    Thorvaldr
    Posts: 141
    And as many others are worried about what will happen to their precious CSS after the reforging, so am I. I've been postponing asking for feedback on my campaign until it was better... but as I and my players worked on it, the bar for "better" kept getting pushed back! So, while the campaign still stands in all of its pre-reforged, I humbly request your critiques.

    About 10 sessions in, and around a year in planning, I present to you the home-brewed world of "Tyellador.":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/tyellador (Which has taught me, among many things, the advantages of being a DM and dating a medievalist! ;) )

    -Thorvaldr
    DM of "Tyellador":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/tyellador
  • nightstorm
    nightstorm
    Posts: 74
    Dang this game is coming along. Only two sessions in and SO much has happened.

    http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/edgeofnight/adventure-log
  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,998
    Wow, 3 people with games to review... I apologize, I am in the middle of a bunch of projects and have not had time to review, and may not before the Reforge!!
    Someone out there want to help out, and give Nightstorm, AKA13, and Thorvaldr reviews?
    Thanks in advance!
    killervp
    "A God...Rebuilt":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/a-god-rebuilt
    Unabashadly pushing for 300 fans!

    Just trying to help out.

  • Kallak
    Kallak
    Posts: 1,090 edited October 2013
    I was going to review Phantasma, by "nightstorm":http://www.obsidianportal.com/profile/nightstorm (as it was "first in line"), but it appears to have been deleted - so moving right along.

    *GM:* "AKA13":http://www.obsidianportal.com/profile/AKA13
    *Campaigns:* "Fraction of a Faction":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/fraction-of-a-faction & "Divine Architect's in Denver Colorado":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/god-builders-denver-colorado

    Before I begin, I'd like to take a moment and address the concern I know is brewing in your mind after reading the Campaign line. I imagine it to look something like so:

    _"Uh hold on a sec... WTF Kallak? You can't review two different campaigns at the same time, even if they are from the same GM.. They are separate entities and should be judged individually on their own merits... that's what we do here."_

    While you (dear reader) are absolutely correct that each campaign should be looked at on its own merits, in examining both of these campaigns to decide which one to review first, I found myself thinking the exact same thoughts, and jotting down identical notes for both. Seeing this, I went back over them again, and upon further analysis, I became convinced that my review of either campaign would be equally as applicable to the other - given their virtually identical status, layout, and theme. And so, with that said, here we are.

    *Theme:* Outside of workable (if somewhat "plain jane") banners, there isn't much to go over in terms of theme. Both campaigns are default Obsidian Portal theme with bold text indicating sections and bullet points for secondary areas within each text section. The graphics used, while individually fine, line up a bit odd next to each other at times. The most jarring occurrence of this is on the "Fraction of a Faction Home Page":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/fraction-of-a-faction where there are two art pieces. The first matches the banner fairly well, both in style and "feel" in terms of era. The second graphic feels a little out of place to me. Maybe it's just because there's a guy in the foreground of the first graphic holding a spear, but the second graphic comes off as a tad too "futuristic" to me when compared to the other two. A similar "feel" issue can be viewed on "Architecht's Main Wiki":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/god-builders-denver-colorado/wikis/main-page where the standard photo banner is followed by an old time mythology-esque piece, which is in turn followed by a black and white movie still.

    While I have no issue with a default OP theme, or images of different types, it's important to me that there be some manner of division between them. Think back to movies, TV shows and comic books. Whenever there is an obvious art style change, there is an on-screen reason for it. Flashback scenes are in black and white, or are colored differently. Stories being told are given a similar treatment, or are sometimes conveyed in a different style altogether (think about like the line drawing story of the uber wand from the 2 part harry potter movie). This style treatment can be the beginning of a theme for a campaign - and is a time honored way to let people know things without having to say them directly. They are subtle yet immersive.

    *Nuts and Bolts:* Given that there's nothing particularly complicated about the layout of these campaigns or the depths to which the wiki's go, there aren't any real issues in terms of nuts and bolts. What I will say is that you could use small things in this department to sort of begin to craft a theme. Maybe instead of just bold text and bullet points, you decide to also have an HR tag between sections, or a graphic divider of some manner. Maybe sections could be put into their own little boxes, or graphics given a sort of frame to go in. Specifics aside, the point is that you want to start breaking away from the "wall of text with occasional picture" and develop an organizational structure that goes with a theme. It doesn't have to be anything crazy. "My Own Campaign":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/dangerous-kalamar-4 simply uses an extrapolation of the default OP theme, and it has turned out to be very well received.

    *In Closing*: Your stories could be the best ever told, or the most well written in the world, but the amount of readers your campaigns get will be considerably lower if you don't develop the campaign websites a bit more. Obsidian Portal isn't a novel format, you need more than just text and a couple pictures. Having said all of that, let me leave you with this thought. You're on the right track with your "the story thus far" style opening. George Lucas used it to terrific effect in the Star Wars movies, and it remains as valid a front page now as it ever was. You just need to get your star-field background and yellow scrolling text figured out - do that, and you'll be in good shape.
    Post edited by Kallak on
    All the best,
    - Kallak
  • Savannah
    Savannah
    Posts: 188
    DM: *Thorvaldr*
    Wiki: *Tyellador*

    *General Appearance* - Overall, I really like the look.
    _Good bits_
    I really like your parchment text background and your navigation bar -- they really give it a medieval feel, I think.
    I also really like how you've handled links. The color fits your theme and is still easy to pick out.

    _Major issues_
    Your overall background is pretty, but has a lot of color variation. This causes problems any time you have text over it without a background. The links to the next pages of the journal, for example, are green over green and nearly impossible to see. Additionally, having things like the comments section below adventure logs floating on top of the background is jarring compared to the parchment backgrounds everywhere else. I'd strongly recommend adding a parchment background (or vaguely medieval-ish background like your nav bar) to everything.
    I find long stretches of nothing but italics hard to read.

    _Nitpicks_
    While the washed out sidebars are a really cool effect, I found them a distracting when I accidentally moved my mouse over them and not really fitting the appearance of the rest of the site.

    *Adventure Logs* -
    _Good bits_
    Well-written without being overwritten.
    The couple of places you have a background change to match the content of the journal (dwarven ruins) is really cool!

    _Major issues_
    Just formatting, above.

    _Nitpicks_
    Your linking is a bit inconsistent -- sometimes many instances of a word are linked and sometimes only the first. Personally, I prefer the second approach, but regardless of which you pick, I'd stick to just one.
    For someone just jumping in, the journals are a bit of a reading investment -- perhaps consider adding quick summaries so that someone could read the summaries of the preceding entries and then follow along?

    *Wiki* -
    _Good bits_
    Nice, clean first page. I like the use of the seal to separate the in character and out of character pages.
    The pages themselves are informative without being too long. Good use of images.

    _Major issues_
    I don't know how I feel about the order of the links on the main wiki page. I started reading at the top, and often felt I was reading bits and pieces without knowing all the information. I'm not sure what order would be most useful, though. I was also surprised to see "Non-Trade Guilds" being given equal prominence with items such as "Races" and "History". Are non-trade guilds really that important in this world? If so, that was not the impression I got from the page on them. In general, the whole thing felt a little sparse.

    _Nitpicks_
    I'd really like to see a back to main wiki page button at the bottom of every page.

    *Characters* -
    _Good bits_
    LOVE the idea of the main character page with the shields.

    _Major issues_
    Unfortunately, the main character page has some issues. The pictures of the characters are very pixilated, making them almost impossible to see -- I'd rather not have pictures than have pictures that pixilated. Additionally, your lack of a parchment background is really hurting you, as it makes the section titles very difficult to read.

    _Nitpicks_
    I'd like to see more information on the PCs who have no background available.
    Your NPC descriptions are quite short. That's not necessarily bad, but I'd love to see some information on their personality.
    There are no links in the any of the backgrounds -- having links when relevant would be helpful to anyone new to the wiki who's starting with the PCs.

    *Maps* -
    _Good bits_
    Your topographical map is beautiful!

    _Major issues_
    There's no connection between these maps and the maps on the locations page of the wiki.

    *Overall* -
    _Good bits_
    Your writing is good (and grammar, too!).
    LOVE the overall look of the site.
    What is there about the world is interesting.

    _Major issues_
    I'd like to see the parchment backgrounds expanded to cover all the text on the main pages (you can ignore the Obsidian Portal footer, though) to make reading easier.
    I'd like more information on the world, ideally in an order I can read straight through if I want. I'd also like to see more focus on what makes this world awesome and cool -- the start page was intriguing, but I found myself losing track of that big picture as I went through the rest of the site.

    Hope this helps -- let me know if you need clarification of anything I've said and, of course, feel free to ignore anything I've said if it doesn't work for you :)
  • Meagoinc
    Meagoinc
    Posts: 26
    Thanks, Savannah! You can tell that we've been waiting on writing some of the more complicated CSS-- changing the background of the comments, for instance-- until the reforging. We've been playing for quite a few months without reaching the main plot, thus the "thinness" of the NPCs (can't have spoilers!). Thorvaldr will fix the links from the characters to other wiki pages. I had the wiki pages link to the characters, but not the other way around... oops!

    I'd love it if you could clarify your suggestion on linking to maps. Do you mean that I should put in a link to the maps page in addition to the actual maps which are on the main "Locations":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/tyellador/wikis/locations page and on the majority of the individual place pages? Should I be linking just to the maps page? Should that be at the bottom, or in text? Or is it that I should put a full map onto the Locations page?

    I had hoped that putting the actual relevant portion of the map on each page (all from the same political map on the maps page) would be more clear than a link, since we have so many places and Tyellador is homebrewed. Could you clarify so that I might fix this and make it more comprehensible to folk non-familiar with the campaign? :D

    And what sort of world information are you looking for? Beyond the "world overview":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/tyellador/wikis/history (hmm, I should make a timeline), I've been tucking economic and political history in each country and city's locations-based wiki page, and literature in "Tales of Bhenoria":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/tyellador/wikis/tales-of-bhenoria (with links back to Locations, of course). Should we be dividing it on the wiki page another way? What's most informative?

    Thanks for all the suggestions and allowing us to bounce ideas back and forth! I really appreciate you taking the time to review before the reforging! :D
    ~Meagoinc
    "Tyellador":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/tyellador
  • Savannah
    Savannah
    Posts: 188 edited October 2013
    Re: maps. I was surprised that the maps you have on your locations page were not also included in the maps page, since they seem to be more detailed. On all of them (locations page and maps page), I was having a bit of trouble figuring out exactly how the maps fit together and where the zoomed in maps fit into the entire world maps, which I think is what I meant when I was talking about "connectedness". I do like the maps on the Locations page a lot and I don't think you should get rid of them. Looking at them a second time, I've figured out that the maps on the Locations page are not, in fact, a series of progressively further zoomed in maps, but are instead chucks that abut each other. I'm not sure where I originally got the other idea, but it sure did mess me up... Knowing that, I have fewer issues with connecting them to the map on the Maps page, but I think it would still be cool to outline the different areas you're zooming in on. Also, consider expanding the edges of the maps on the Locations pages a bit to show where they overlap, and thickening the lines as they can be a bit hard to read.

    Re: world information. I think what I'm really looking for is some big-picture, concise, almost out of character information on the world so that I can then delve into the details. The world overview that you linked was actually pretty hard for me to read, as it dropped me into the middle of historical events referring to peoples and places I've never heard of, and without me knowing much about the current world I had no way to know what parts of the history were connected to modern events. Timelines are cool and you should probably go ahead and make one, but when I first start to read about a world, I don't care about the history, I care about a) the overarching tone/theme of the world and b) what is driving conflict and adventure right now. If neither of those interest me, I know then to stop reading, but if at least one (preferably both) make me go 'ooh, I want to run/play something set here!' then I can get into the details of the world. Even something along the lines of "Tyellador is a high-fantasy setting in a quasi-western european medieval world. The many small kingdoms of the humans lands have been at peace for [xx] years but now face..." etc. It's not pretty, but putting it in a prominent place will help anyone new to the world get the tone and themes of the place in their head before going into more details in the various pages. (Think of it as your elevator pitch -- if you wanted me to join your game and you only had, say, five sentences to tell me why the world is so awesome to play in, what would you say?) Does that make more sense?

    I'm posting while really sleep deprived, so let me know if there's anything that doesn't make sense or needs more clarification.
    Post edited by Savannah on
  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,998
    Awesome reviews- thanks folks!
    Especially lucky is Tyellador! Savannah writes some of the best reviews, very detailed- helped me plenty! Great to see you on again Savannah!

    Just trying to help out.

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