The "Review my Campaign" thread

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  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,999
    Wow, embarrassed.... fixed- my apologies Kallak!!

    Just trying to help out.

  • Kallak
    Kallak
    Posts: 1,090
    All good man. I mean, I know I'm not as cool as wolfhound, but give me some credit :P
    All the best,
    - Kallak
  • ReverseG
    ReverseG
    Posts: 17
    @killervp, thanks for the opinions! Wonderful feedback and observations, this really will help us with the way we grow our campaign page.

    RE: adventure logs - I mentioned this earlier, but this campaign is divided between the Central City [CC] group (based locally) and the Forward Vision [FV] group (based in the Philippines/UK). CC are due to start mid-July but FV has had a head start of about three weeks (I should really change the name of my campaign to just DesCha) - they've been posting their own adventure logs so I'll pass the feedback to them and we'll hopefully get some improvement. Part of the hilarity here is that you're looking at an iceberg as far as adventure logs go - because some key information in the 'episodes' still need to be kept secret, there's a fair bit lying underneath the GM+Player line.

    Will take your advice and will work on making this world of ours stick out more. :)
  • ClassicMan1979
    ClassicMan1979
    Posts: 2
    I would appriciate any thoughts people have on my stuff. The game may not even happen, but i wanted to put some effort into making interesting.

    http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/the-solar-sailors/wikis/main-page
  • Manyfacesof
    Manyfacesof
    Posts: 2
    Alright, so I've been running my 4e Shadowrun game (built around the Minneapolis setting created by the great Ryan Bolduan/Wirefrog) for a couple of months now and the OP page, which I've been working on since March, has started taking on a life of it's own. That being said, I think I'm too close to the subject to view it properly and was wondering if anybody would be interested in giving me their take on it or suggesting improvements. Thank you (I think ?).

    "Lost in the Shadows":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/lost-in-the-shadows
  • j4yj4y
    j4yj4y
    Posts: 11
    Kalllak,

    So I've been taking some of your suggestions and here's what I've come up with:

    1. Switched the Banner to be a bit more interesting. I'd like to work on this some more when I get some time but I think this helps break it up some.
    2. Added some scrolls via CSS and adjusted the wrapping of art and image to make better use of the space. I'd like to place a nice simple texture behind those scrolls to get rid of the white but my CSS / div'fu is pretty weak and all my attempts thus far haven't been successful (I either get a 505 Server Error if I try and do it in the Customer CSS Field or it doesn't look right using divs. I'm sure this is just my lack of experience using this type of mark up and I'll get it figured out eventually. =P

    I'm going to work on reverse navigation as well and then see what I can do about the character page.

    Just wanted to say thanks again for your help! =)
  • Keryth987
    Keryth987
    Posts: 1,047
    *Review of Manyfacesof’s “Lost in the Shadows”*

    *Start Page*- Banner,is alright, but it is hard to tell what it is. As someone who has played Shadowrun, I know it is a meeting between an Orc and either a human or an elf, but, it is confusing. Also, no title. Where's the Campaign name?

    *Adventure Logs*- Short and too the Point. Easy to follow which belongs to what Run, but not a WHOLE lot of information there. Interesting, if short reads though. Also, kudos for the Run that is a Firefly/Serenity quote. No links from each synopsis to characters or anything else on the Wiki for reference.

    *Wiki*- /sr/ Boards does not work. Just opens a page to make your own calendar. history is great, providing alot fo detail to those not familiar with the Shadowrun Universe. 20 Questions section is an awesome idea, and I may even borrow it myself. Newsfeed is interesting. Information on the Metroplex is interesting and a useful addition. Quote wall doesn't have enough quotes. My only real gripe is there should be more graphics. Tons of information, but it's Wall of Text after Wall of Text.

    *Characters*- NPC's are well detailed. PC's, not so much. Short bios, from those who provided them, and very few images. Can;t fault the GM here though, if the players don;t provide the info, there's little one can do.

    *Overall*-A good start. Lots of information. Just need to add some images to break up the Walls of Text and encourage your Players to at least provide some information on their characters. Good work, either way

    Anything I can do to assist, feel free to msg me.



    Keelah Se'lai,
    Keryth
    "Shadows Over New York":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/shadows-over-new-york
    "Campaign of the Month - July 2013":http://blog.obsidianportal.com/shadows-over-new-york-julys-campaign-of-the-month/

  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,999
    Thanks Keryth!!

    Just trying to help out.

  • Manyfacesof
    Manyfacesof
    Posts: 2
    Thanks... the link on /sr/ Boards was supposed to just be to be a link to the calendar for 2076, so my bad for miscommunicating that. I'll try to clear that up.

    As for graphics, I'm a really textual person myself and less visual, so I may draft a more artistically or visually inclined one of my players to help me clean that up. I love to type color text, hate to arrange spaces. Can you tell? Yeah. But this is what players on for. I think maybe because I've been doing so much of the site, they've been a bit disengaged from it, so having them do a bit of the stuff I suck at might help with that as well.

    And after all, getting our players more engaged is what OP is all about in the end, right?

    Thanks! I will start working on the things you mentioned....
  • Keryth987
    Keryth987
    Posts: 1,047
    No problem KillerVP. Figure since I'm COTM, I need to do more round here than just ask questions and pick brains for Plot help :)

    And, my pleasure ManyFacesOf. And, if you need help with anything, feel free to drop me a line.

    Keelah Se'lai,
    Keryth
    "Shadows Over New York":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/shadows-over-new-york
    "Campaign of the Month - July 2013":http://blog.obsidianportal.com/shadows-over-new-york-julys-campaign-of-the-month/

  • Doc_the_grey
    Posts: 8
    Hey can people look over mine and tell me what they think? I know my layout is hell but any idea on how to clean up the layout or just critique of the content would be greatly appreciated

    http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/oki/wikis/main-page
  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,999
    To be honest, Doc the Grey, the format was so bad I did not venture into content. Hit the FAQ and the CSS forums, check out some COTM's that you like, and adopt some of those ideas.
    killervp
    "A God...Rebuilt":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/a-god-rebuilt
    "OP's COTM April 2012":http://blog.obsidianportal.com/a-god-rebuilt-aprils-cotm/

    Just trying to help out.

  • SkidAce
    SkidAce
    Posts: 830
    Doc, the subpages have decent content and flavor. Need to work on the main page. See killervp's idea about the FAQ.

    There's potential here, after reading up on the FAQ and CSS, give it a shot and we'll help tweak it.
  • Doc_the_grey
    Posts: 8
    Thanks. I've known my layout was crap but I had no clue about the faq and css forums. Guess that's my next stop.
  • twiggyleaf
    twiggyleaf
    Posts: 2,011
    Yikes! Go Doc, show them what you can do....

    twigs

    "I met a traveller from an antique land....."

    CotM May 2016: Mysteria: set in Wolfgang Baur’s MIDGARD.

    Previous CotM Aug 2012: Shimring: High Level Multiplanar Campaign

    Inner Council Member

  • mefanch
    mefanch
    Posts: 2
    I'd love a review of my pages when someone has a chance. Just getting started putting it together, tweeking the CSS, and what not. I've tried to take some css elements from Wolfhound, Kallak, and Arsheen - all of whose work I find amazing (hopefully they don't mind!). Hopefully my campaign looks like it's going the right direction? It's still in it's infancy so I've yet to fully use (though I intend to) things like the Adventure Log section... and the map page, I plan to cover up eventually with my own (Possibly items too).

    "Legends of Pentera: The Leogrian Chronicles":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/legends-of-penterra

    So, any tips, suggestions, tweaks, styles etc.. would be very appreciated.

    ~ Fanch
  • Kallak
    Kallak
    Posts: 1,090 edited July 2013
    _Given that the campaign is still more or less in the early development stage, this will be less of a "full review" and more of a "first impressions" writeup, with some feedback on the various elements that are presently there. Hope it helps mefanch._

    *GM:* "mefanch":http://www.obsidianportal.com/profile/mefanch
    *Campaign:* "Legends of Pentera: The Leogrian Chronicles":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/legends-of-penterra

    *Theme/Look*: I +really+ like the banner for this campaign, and the maps are great too. Definitely the sort of images that make you think about vikings or the middle ages - they set the mood well, and you should strive to capitalize on this. I strongly recommend drawing as much inspiration from these as you can when doing +all+ future design and/or graphical work. That said, put the wood panel background "to the sword" as quickly as possible and find something that goes better with your other images. The graphics that make up the nav bar on the main page are workable, though I think slight tweaking could be done to make them mesh a bit better in an aesthetic sense (more thoughts on the nav bar in the nuts and bolts section). The theme-based treatment given to the character images is also a good touch - it's the kind of thing that can tie a site's "feel" together in an understated manner. Again I'd look to the banner/maps and shift the treatment in small ways to make it a closer match.

    A few of the buttons on the main wiki page are difficult to read due to the light font color used (specifically the Realms and Maps buttons). Also on that subject, the graphics for your main wiki page buttons are nice individually, but there seem to be three "types" in terms of the graphics - with the "types" being a sort of map style, a predominantly solid color style, and a kind of stylized symbol style. Pick one "type" and stick with it for all the buttons - it will be a stronger body of work overall if you do. The page layout for the race pages is good, permitting the images a center stage position while not being overpowering. I'd consider putting the "Racial Traits" section into a box or stylized format of some variety rather than just following an HR tag. Finally, the default secondary column theme has got to go, and yesterday.

    *Nuts and Bolts*: There are a lot of bits that need fixing. For starters, the OP logo at the top needs to be given the transparent treatment, so it doesn't ruin the fluidity of your background image. Spacing on the main wiki page is off, with some three row buttons being immediately under their header, and others having a gap. I also think that having one header be a link and the others not is problematic. Either they should all be links, or none of them should be. You have section based buttons after all. I'd rearrange the page structure that you have for your Deities area a little so that the header doesn't need to be a link. You also have page titles that you put on the page that are identical, or nearly so, to the standard ones on the pages. This is especially noticeable on the race pages, where the race is listed twice in a row. You should also (as I say to pretty much every campaign) put some thought into a reverse navigation system for ease of browsing by users.

    Finally, I see that you are using the home page as sort of a development/testing ground for a stock navigation bar replacement. I strongly suggest holding off on this for the time being. With the OP Reforge still underway, it would be horrible for you to implement a full stock bar replacement only to have it broken by the changes from the reforge when it is launched. As a guy with a large campaign that has a full navigation bar replacement, I cannot stress this enough. HOLD OFF on the nav bar replacement until after the reforge comes and we see what all damage it does. I am 100% behind customizing the navigation bar to be what you want it to be, but given the current events, it's best to wait on that feature. Get your nuts and bolts fixed and solidify your theme. No sense in having to go back and edit every page on your campaign twice.

    *In Closing*: I see a great deal of potential in this campaign. Putting thought into layout and theme, and asking for advice early is a really smart move - and it WILL pay off for you down the road. I look forward to revisiting this campaign in a few months or so.
    Post edited by Kallak on
    All the best,
    - Kallak
  • mefanch
    mefanch
    Posts: 2 edited July 2013
    wow! Kallak! Thank you much. I wasn't expecting a reply anywhere near this fast. (ps. plz excuse the hero worship! as I do so enjoy your campaign site)

    *Theme*: I was going for a viking and middle ages feel.. so I'm really glad that came though. I was hoping the wood panel would evoke a sense of reading scrolls on a wooden table, but I agree, that fell completely flat. I'm thinking maybe something along the sides like in illuminated manuscript work (thinking Book of Kells), and maybe a few fonts mixed in the front page like that. Still working on doodling that up on a sketchpad before trying to draw some out on my tablet.

    Buttons in the wiki. I was trying to get a feel for which may look best while playing w/ the "tribox" formatting from Wolfhound, and seeing which ones I liked the best. And on that I'm still kind of stuck, but may go with just the plain ones rather than the more stylized ones.

    Really appreciate the suggestions. :) Adding them to my "to do" list (and re-arranging the order some). Wood background, 2ndary column, Better way to include Racial Traits, OP Header/logo, .. and figure out the blasted spacing on the wiki page (which I honestly have no clue what is going on in there... I'm pretty sure I have the exact same spacing/key returns/etc each time.). I'm hoping to figure out a way to hid the title OP auto puts on the page (I figure there is probably a way in the CSS FAQ thing - but haven't looked yet).

    Couple of questions though:
    1) Reverse Navigation? (You probably mean having links that go back to the start right or something else? Or am I really over complicating what you mean?)
    2) Nav bar replacement. Yeah I'm not exactly enamored with the one they have. Was hoping to either cover it, or rename it and have it go to different links (like yours) as the way they have the OP map section doesn't work at all for what I was hoping to do. I take it the big "reforging" is going to break a lot of our ability to do that?

    Regards,
    ~ Fanch
    Post edited by mefanch on
  • Kallak
    Kallak
    Posts: 1,090 edited July 2013
    @ mefanch - not a problem, hope it helps out.

    In terms of reverse navigation, I mean a way to go back a step without having to click the wiki main page tab and start over. Depending on how "deep" your wiki gets, this can be more or less annoying for the users. To use myself as an example: in order to view the page for any particular deity on my site, you have to start at the _Main Wiki_ page, click on the _Religion_ button, click on the _Deities Listing_ link and then click on the link to the _Deity Page_ in question. If I were a user who wanted to read all of the deity entries, those extra clicks from the _Main Wiki_ page are an unnecessary series of steps. A simple "Go Back" button or the like saves time and makes the site more user friendly.

    As for the navigation bar, this is an area that has been discussed and frustrated over endlessly by many many people. In simplest terms, people want to have the ability to customize the tabs on their campaign, and there isn't a way to do that. This forces you, unfortunately to either give up on your designs, or replace the bar outright. The addition of the Custom CSS has alleviated part of the problem (we can now change the look of the bar, or the wording on the tabs), but still leaves much to be desired (you _still_ cannot change the links, so that awesome "Game Calendar" tab you had planned makes you have to replace the stock nav bar anyway... no wait, that's me). I'm hoping that the reforge will allow 100% custom navigation tabs, but we'll see.

    That said, there have only been bits and pieces of information released on what all the reforge will do to the site. The biggest however, is that in order to make the site more tablet and phone accessible, the underlying structure has to change for compatibility purposes. This means that various elements - particularly placed elements like replacement navigation tabs - will be broken once the reforge goes live, as the skeleton of OP changes. Personally, I like the idea of the reforge, god knows the site could use a bit of updating, but some of the things they are doing are really "in the wrong direction" IMO. The WYSIWYG-esque "natural editing" is a *huge* mistake as far as I'm concerned. On the flip side however, I think the stored "page template" capability and the sort of "DM Dashboard" area are both fantastic - they're essentially what people have been making for themselves over the years.
    Post edited by Kallak on
    All the best,
    - Kallak
  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,999
    Awesome, awesome review Kallak- Thanks!

    Just trying to help out.

  • NikMak
    NikMak
    Posts: 379
    Hi All,

    I also request a review, I was going to wait a bit longer before doing so but as "...asking for advice early is a really smart move..." i guess i better get some feedback sooner rather than later!

    http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/the-great-pendragon

    Cheers

    Nick
  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,999 edited August 2013
    On holiday this week- could someone please give NikMak a review?
    Thanks!
    killervp
    "A God...Rebuilt":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/a-god-rebuilt
    "OP's COTM April 2012":http://blog.obsidianportal.com/a-god-rebuilt-aprils-cotm/
    Post edited by GamingMegaverse on

    Just trying to help out.

  • Kallak
    Kallak
    Posts: 1,090
    *GM:* "NikMak":http://www.obsidianportal.com/profile/NikMak
    *Campaign:* "The Great Pendragon":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/the-great-pendragon

    *Theme/Look:* In terms of look, most of the typical theme-based issues that crop up on campaigns are already addressed - this being one of the benefits of using a template donated to the community at large. The biggest thing I can say going forward is to really take that template and make it your own as much as you can. I do note a few alterations off the top of my head (background image, content box background color, addition of collapsible side bar), but these should be (and hopefully are) just the beginning of molding the site to really be one of a kind. The worst thing you can have happen is someone visit your campaign and say to themselves: 'oh this guy took wolfhound's black and green template and added robertkety's collapsible side bar to it.'. Someone being able to see the original foundation is one thing, but bearing too much resemblance to it is another. Keep going with your alterations and break that thing out of its shell.

    Outside of that, I think the video is decent, but could really stand to have some snippets of text in there to make it more of an intro video for your campaign and less of a montage video for the film at hand. The wording on the banner should be darkened to match the font color and element borders of the campaign, OR better yet - lighten the border elements and campaign font to match your banner text (break the shell!). More graphics would be awesome, and given the subject matter should be relatively easy to come by. This includes character portraits of which there are many missing. I think the area that could benefit from images the most is the adventure logs. Breaking up that 'wall of text' will help.

    *Nuts and Bolts:* Probably the biggest thing I see here is that that altered wording on the tabs forces the Comments tab down onto a second row. I'm not sure the dimensions of the screen you're working on, but I'm on a widescreen monitor and it does it for me, so I'm going to guess that most of your audience will see it as I do. If there are any tabs that aren't being used, I'd strongly consider not displaying them, or look at your tab text again and see if you can cut it down slightly, a few pixels might make the difference. Another option would be to cut the space down on either side of the tab wording by a couple pixels. Reducing each side by 1px per tab would buy you 18px overall, and would barely be noticeable per tab, but might bring the Comments back up.

    Otherwise, the stock Wiki page needs to go. Either remove that tab or put something on there. I notice the homepage links viewers to another site on the subject, but then has to issue a warning not too read TOO far or risk campaign spoilers. Having the information available on your wiki would remove both the necessity of having to go offsite for campaign related info, AND of having to risk people getting ahead of the story.

    Just a few surface impressions more than anything, but I hope they help.
    All the best,
    - Kallak
  • NikMak
    NikMak
    Posts: 379
    good advice, thanks :)

    i will make a 'to-do' list and set to work. I may come back in a few months and ask for another review when the site has had time to evolve further.
  • KalinoAltes
    KalinoAltes
    Posts: 7
    Hello Everyone,

    Not 100% complete, but...

    http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/daern

    Looking for review on:
    Layout
    Theme
    Content
    Anything Else
  • Keryth987
    Keryth987
    Posts: 1,047
    *Review of KalinoAltes’s “Daern”*

    *Start Page*- Banner,is simply the Campaign name, and is transparant to the background. This is different and unique. Personally, I find it kind of bland, but, that is purely personal opinion. Rest of the information is clear and concise, giving a quick overview of the campaign.

    *Timeline*- Nice utilization of the Adventurer's Journal to do the timeline.

    *Wiki*- Easily navigable. Information is laid out logically, and is easily accessible.

    *Characters*- NLong list of PC's and NPCs. Not alot of information for each. Also, use of Black text is incredibly difficult to read wiht the transparancy to the background behind each character.

    *Items* - Only one item. Same issue with Black text as with Characters

    *Forums* Well laid out for future use. Make sure to avid the black text issue.

    *Maps* - Simple and concise. Both maps are standard Campaign Area maps.

    *Overall* - The site looks nice. Well laid out. It is difficult to read in some places due to text color. And the sidebar menu is only present on the Main Page and should be on every page. Otherwise, not a bad looking site

    Anything I can do to assist, feel free to msg me.


    Keelah Se'lai,
    Keryth
    "Shadows Over New York":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/shadows-over-new-york
    "Campaign of the Month - July 2013":http://blog.obsidianportal.com/shadows-over-new-york-julys-campaign-of-the-month/

  • tommy19
    tommy19
    Posts: 62
    I would like to request a review of my campaign AGE of Darkness.

    http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/ageofdarknessdragonagehack

    Any advice or comments would be greatly appreciated.
  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,999
    Hi Tommy19! I just got back from holiday, but will give you a review in the next few days if no one beats me to it...
    Great review Keryth, btw...

    Just trying to help out.

  • tommy19
    tommy19
    Posts: 62
    Awesome, would love any comments, thoughts or suggestions you can give me. Thanks. (:
  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,999
    Review of Tommy 19's "Age of Darkness":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/ageofdarknessdragonagehack
    *Start Page-* Good banner, but not great. One word grabs me- BUSY! Anyone viewing this on less than a monitor will struggle (I tried it on a laptop, and the left bar covered some of the page, and on the phone, well, lets not go there... Simplify the wiki and start pages- you may be able to do the detailed side bar or the doom track, but not both.

    *Adventure Logs-* Needs more color. A couple of tiny pics of the characters attending are not enough, especially with a plain slate background. It seems that you have the gm telling the story some of the times, and a pc doing some of the other. Always cool to have a pc's viewpoint- hope you can get the others involved.

    *Wiki-* Lots, and lots, and lots of info here. Will hit some of the areas to improve-
    Move your pics off dropbox and onto OP. Very slow to load.
    Everything on your wiki is available on your side bar- either simplify the wiki or the sidebar- you don't need both (and with the Reforge approaching, I highly recommend you drop the sidebar- it probably won't work after the Reforge).
    There is a lot of great info, and some great pages (I love the runes page, and your creature pages) The wiki page itself seems just a list- jazz it up a bit! Go with just the main categories, and use back buttons to lead people.

    *Characters-* Using the template from Kallak, adapted a bit by Wolfhound. Get your pc's to do backgrounds- please! Love the deceased and missing persons labels- may steal some of that. Good work!

    *Overall-* A solid start. Your character page is by far the best, and the wiki is chock full of info! The rest needs simplification, color and pictures. Get your players to write bios that have not, and have the one that has expand it, and ask them to write the logs!

    As always, just my 2 cents. Feel free to pm me with any questions!
    killervp
    "A God...Rebuilt":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/a-god-rebuilt
    "OP's COTM April 2012":http://blog.obsidianportal.com/a-god-rebuilt-aprils-cotm/

    Just trying to help out.

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