The "Review my Campaign" thread

18911131435

Comments

  • neonbasschild
    neonbasschild
    Posts: 20
    I was wondering if any of you guys would like to take a look and review the campaign I am about to start up.


    http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/twelvescrolls

    Thanks
  • Kallak
    Kallak
    Posts: 1,090
    Hello neonbasschild,

    Had a quick peek at the site and I can say that, while clearly still in early development, it does show some promise that I hope you continue to expand on. Even without too much content the overall feel is there, which is a good thing. A few things that I feel are worth saying.

    -The side navigation images are great, but having to look down in the status bar to see where each one takes you is an issue. A simple alt entry in the links would fix this, OR you can make a rollover setup in the custom CSS (set to be released to the masses later this week). I do have one question though, why have a side nav that replicates the standard bar? Are you going to be covering it up at some point?

    -You should definitely try to integrate the feel/theme into the text area. Right now, you have paragraphs and unordered lists, which is workable enough, but if you were able to get like a nice ancient looking paper graphic as a background to put words on or something along those lines, it would tie the site together nicely. As a side note to this, I think you should have some sort of icon setup for the main wiki page rather than just plain links. Would flow nicely with the side navigation.

    -Once the custom CSS goes live, you'll definitely want to get your background image setup in there, so it doesn't change when you go to the characters or items pages.

    -More graphics. Never hurts, and with L5R, there should be a great deal of images available out there.
    All the best,
    - Kallak
  • Llowellen
    Llowellen
    Posts: 15
    This a great thread, a really great community.

    I offer my own World of Llowellen for your review.

    Many thanks.

    http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/the-world-of-llowellen
  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,968
    My review ofLlowellen's "The World of Llowellen":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/the-world-of-llowellen
    *Start Page-* A very plain banner, with a standard background. Would change this soon! For a campaign with walrusmen, this is rather plain. The tagline is great, and the info on the page is intriguing... It just needs a little dressing up.
    *Adventure Logs-* There are some good ones here! Entertaining, and can tell the group enjoys the game. Would add a background (black type on white is boring) but some good stuff. I like the fact that you list gm and players.
    *Wiki-* There is tons of good info in the wiki. The main page is a little long (I would categorize it into links for rules, abilities, races, classes, skills, and feats) to make it cleaner. My favorite page is "Why Then Should You Bother" which may be the best invitation page I have seen on OP. Would again recommend a background for the type.
    *Others-* Characters- Some have good backgrounds (Thyana) others do not. Have your characters write up full bios for their characters- reward w/ xp or other goodies.
    Items- Only one.
    Maps- Your maps have some serious potential. Follow Arsheesh to the Cartographers Guild- you could really build on these!
    *Overall-* This is a site with some cleaning up and prettying up could go far! A great base! Some really good info! Looks like a great world you have created Llowellen, just needs a better brochure.
    killervp
    "A God...Rebuilt":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/a-god-rebuilt
    "Duskreign's First Ever COTM":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/wyrmshadow/wiki_pages/112011
    "OP's COTM April 2012":http://blog.obsidianportal.com/a-god-rebuilt-aprils-cotm/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=a-god-rebuilt-aprils-cotm

    Just trying to help out.

  • tic
    tic
    Posts: 44 edited August 2012
    Aaagh, I've delayed on posting in this thread for such a long time, because I feel like my Adventure Log posts are all really poorly written. If I keep delaying I will never post, though, so HERE: "http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/safira":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/safira
    Post edited by tic on
  • Kallak
    Kallak
    Posts: 1,090
    Gonna chime in fast between page updates

    *Campaign:* "Safira":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/safira
    *Theme:* I like the design concept behind the site, very elegant and understated. A sort of less is more in terms of navigation. A bit barren with respects to graphics (particularly after the very nice graphic-only home page) but the images that are there I like (save for characters, more on this in a minute). I'd find myself tempted to move the reverse navigation to the top of the page. It's good for flow on the bottom, as you finish reading the page it's handy for you to nav back to go to another area, but it's also a bit cumbersome for moving around the site quickly. I'd also consider adding a 'box' of sorts for your pages to go into. Nothing major, just like a styled line for the top and the bottom, keep the less is more aspect, but give the pages a touch more definition. I believe the character sheet boxes need to be either redesigned to fit the overall theme better, OR incorporated into a larger overall theme (part of the reason for my 'box' suggestion from before).
    *Graphics:* As I said earlier, I like the images presented on the site, except for the super cartoony character pictures. It's like lounging around a beach, listening to the water, feeling the warmth of the sun, then looking up and BAM!!!!! the sun is in fact a big goofy yellow smiley face sun. WTF. Theme totally blown with that, and worse is that they're pretty large images, particularly when compared to the small character sheet boxes they lead to. Fix fix IMO.
    *Crunchy Bits:* I have two gripes with respects to this area, firstly, the bottom portion of the top image/nav is off by a pixel or two on some pages causing the 'menu' to shift slightly here and there - should be an easy fix, and you'd be surprised how annoying a 1pixel shift can be. Second thing is that there is a descent amount of game material but without any OGL notice, or copyright mention. Granted, you are doing pathfinder, and not D&D, but the material still appears, so it's worth the effort to make a copyright page or something to that effect.

    That said, I find the site quite appealing. I wouldn't worry about your writing style for the adventure logs, as long as the action is conveyed you're good. Just fit your character section into the theme a bit more and for the love of god get new character images - that or go for a totally cartoony site theme, in which case the current ones will fit in nicely.
    All the best,
    - Kallak
  • tic
    tic
    Posts: 44
    It, uh, is my art, so I don't know if I'll be getting new art. Heh.
  • Kallak
    Kallak
    Posts: 1,090
    Hm, not sure what to tell you on that one. Do you have an anime campaign you can use them for? :P

    All joking aside, they are way out of step with the theme for the rest of your site (including images). The character images aren't bad in and of themselves, it's certainly better than I could do, but they don't mesh with the site - like at all. If the other art pieces were all of that type, or something closer, it would work.
    All the best,
    - Kallak
  • tic
    tic
    Posts: 44 edited August 2012
    Sorry, uh, finished reading everything now. I apologize for the sudden sensitiveartistleak there, I just kind of reacted and posted before I had a change to really ... gather things. Blarg :/

    Firstly, thank you so much for taking a look at my campaign, and for your kind words! As far as the design is concerned, for sure, as a personal preference do I prefer more subdued, unbusy designs; though from what I've seen they look like they're not the norm on OP, which is ... interesting to me. It certainly makes my campaign stand out a bit sore compared to the other heavily styled ones.

    Which pieces of artwork would you say mine aren't meshing with? There's only a handful of images on the whole thing that __aren't__ my art, so it's interesting to me that you'd say the majority are jarring compared to the minority.

    Tu'Narath on the main page, the Lady of Pain's face on the wiki index, DiTerlizzi's Spire on the Adventure Log index and Mercane on Adventure Log 7, and the Faction Symbols and Sigil Torus used as background elements on the character index are the only illustrations that aren't my work, so I can't help but wonder if maybe you feel some of the character artwork is inconsistent with others? More important NPCs got more time spent on their artwork, for example, and the few coloured images (e.g. Amalia, Barbara, and Loopwyn) could perhaps be unusual in the company of the quicker pencil work? Of course I wish I were a better artist, and that I had more time to finish full marker pieces for the campaign (such as Amalia and Barbara in particular), but time is such a thief.

    WRT the header not lining up on some pages -- Eek! I *just* finished converting everything over to an external sheet, so which pages are not lining up? Some of them have slightly different classes assigned to them. The wiki pages need different height compared to the character and item pages, for instance. Also, what browser and OS are you using? Some browsers/OSes can be real annoying with default padding and margins, causing little shifts like that (with other projects in the past Mac Firefox has given me particular grief).
    Post edited by tic on
  • Kallak
    Kallak
    Posts: 1,090
    For reference with regards to the shifting banner/nav, I'm using firefox browser on windows OS. For me, Home and Adventure Log are lined up, but the others (wiki, multiverse, characters, items) are different. They are perfect with respects to each other, but not with Home and Adventure Log (again this is for me, maybe different for others, not sure).

    My commentary regarding the images may seem off at first when you look at it purely from a numbers perspective (your pieces versus others), but keep in mind that the minority pieces (not yours) are spread out across the site's most prominent real estate (home page, adventure log, wiki home, etc..). They are of similar style and lend themselves well to the banner/nav graphic and the understated theme of the site. On the other hand, the character images are a bit more centralized in the character area and various adventure log entries. Additionally, they are more of a kind of anime style, which isn't quite as understated as the other elements of the site's design. As I understand that style of artwork, the idea is to capture action and strong emotion, using facial expressions and accent lines in the background. Conceptually, this seems to fly in the face of the rest of the site by design (at least to me I suppose).

    Also bear in mind that the banner/nav has an impact on the overall 'feel' or 'texture' of a campaign. When one goes to your site, they are greeted with this amazing Tu'Narath image as the home page's only feature. This sort of locks these two elements together so to speak. This initial view sets a tone and is reinforced by the strong positioning of some of the other art pieces. So as a viewer browses that site, they have that banner/nav as a constant subtle reminder of the tone they experienced and without even realizing it, have sort of come to expect after the first few pieces of art are viewed to be similar.

    The banner/nav works just fine with the character images; the same as it does for the other pieces. I think there just needs to be a way to integrate the two styles a bit more. Personally, I would tend to stick to the black and white character images, as they fit a bit better with the subdued theme of the site, OR if you want to have them with color, maybe use a style of coloring similar to the adventure log image. That kind of 'color pencil' look would help maintain the atmosphere of the campaign throughout, as well as to blend the two styles of art a bit.
    All the best,
    - Kallak
  • tic
    tic
    Posts: 44 edited August 2012
    I would be delighted to wake up one morning and find myself capable of producing artwork that similar Tony DiTerlizzi's, but I think my chances are slim, so I guess I'll just have to have a mismatchey Obsidian Portal for as long as it takes me to get there the long way.

    Thank you again for your time & words, and especially for pointing out the issue with firefox.Turns out it was a problem with the font size in OP's content wrappers being defined in fractional pixels due to the way the EMs calculated out (14.4px). Firefox was rounding one way, other browsers were rounding another, and that was causing the total height to vary between browsers. Jeez Lousie, let me tell you.
    Post edited by tic on
  • saethone
    saethone
    Posts: 153
    http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/age-of-the-dragons

    was wondering if anybody would mind taking a quick look at my campaign. its not closed to finished yet, really, but i was just looking for some pretty focused feedback atm - i still have a lot of information, quotes, pictures, and the like to fill in

    what i'd like info on, before i spend to long pouring all this info is, is the general organization of the campaign - does it feel simple enough to navigate? does the organization make sense? etc etc.

    Just didn't want to build the whole thing around a structure only to have to redo it later down the road

    thanks :)
  • Cernig
    Cernig
    Posts: 60 edited August 2012
    The structure looks good to me Saethone. Also, the overall look is fresh and crisp, the art is appropriate and I like the GURPS crunch you have there so far. I also love the font you're using for the nav menus - so easy to read. If it has a lower case version I'd love to see what the wiki would look like if you extended that font to the whole thing.

    BTW, there's now a GURPS 4e dynamic character sheet courtesy of my "Edgerunners":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/edgerunners co-GM, Langy. You can see it in operation "here":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/edgerunners/characters/able
    Post edited by Cernig on
  • tic
    tic
    Posts: 44 edited August 2012
    Saethone, I love the wood grain background image you're using, it's crisp and very beautiful. Have you considered using "background-attachment:fixed;" on it, though, or do you prefer it to scroll with the page? It's definitely a matter of personal preference, but I know that I prefer graphic backgrounds such as the one you have to stay put. Might be something to consider!

    Edit: Oh hey, also! I noticed you're using a graphic for that big T on your main page. If you toss a with a class around the paragraph ( for example), you can use the CSS pseudo-element :first-letter to style the first letter by itself with something like .intro:first-letter {font: 20pt Times New Roman;} or whatever in particular you want to do with it.

    --> http://www.w3schools.com/cssref/sel_firstletter.asp
    Post edited by tic on
  • saethone
    saethone
    Posts: 153
    Cernig - Thanks! I actually got the idea to do magic items as points by looking at your guys' beyond the veil campaign, lol. I did see the 4e sheet recently get posted, but hadn't had a chance to check it out yet. I love that font too, now that OP has opened up more support I may have to try that. I got lucky, because that font was already on the map when I found it, but I was able to locate it online for use in Photoshop to make the rest of my stuff :P

    Tic - the first letter thing was something I had planned to do on each page, but the font that I use wasn't supported by OP so I would have had to create the image for each one. I saw mIcah added support for google fonts and stuff now though, so I may be able to do that! Wasn't aware of the first letter element so that'll definitely help, thanks!

    As for the background, on my machine it already stayed put, lol. I guess maybe its just rendering it different, so I'll change that because I did not want it scrolling. Thanks for pointing that out.

    It is good to hear that I'm on the right track.
  • Andrew_Hart
    Andrew_Hart
    Posts: 22
    Hello,

    Some really nice looking campaigns here!

    I wonder if people could take the time to have a wee look at "my campaign":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/the-enemy-within-wfrp It is far from finished. I think people can see the direction its going in, but I can quite help feeling that it's a little plain and maybe needs some improving. The Campaign banner will be getting some work later in the week!

    Thanks again
    Andy
  • Lord_AO
    Lord_AO
    Posts: 38 edited August 2012
    Hello,
    If anyone has anytime feel free to give any comments on my campaign as well. Its an updated version of the old 2nd edition box set of A Night Below revamped into Pathfinder world.

    "Deeper Darkness":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/deepest-darkness

    Any advice would be great.
    Thanks
    Lord AO
    Post edited by Lord_AO on
  • tic
    tic
    Posts: 44 edited August 2012
    Hi! Sorry I don't really have much more to say, but uh,

    http://cdn.obsidianportal.com/assets/141890/Ezrabig.jpg

    That image makes me really uncomfortable. I don't recognize the artwork used for the other PCS, or on the other pages, but Linda Tso's elf image I do recognize, and because of that, I know that 1) it's been edited by someone, and 2) Linda's signature has been removed.

    It's one thing to take artwork from a D&D Monster Manual and attach it to a creature of that monster type -- Hi players, I'm telling you about a Hezrou, so here's the Hezrou art from the book. Or, I'm talking about Waterdeep, so here's the Waterdeep art from the book... but it's another thing entirely to take artwork from someone's personal gallery, especially someone who takes commissions (which this image is, someone paid the artist to draw that image of their D&D wizard character), and post it uncredited.

    But to post it without credit and remove the artist's signature, and then use the smudge tool to edit the picture, is :|. The artist did not post that image online with a creative commons remix license.

    :|

    I'm sorry, I really would like to comment on you campaign, or at least say something more positive, but I'm really hung up on this.
    Post edited by tic on
  • Lord_AO
    Lord_AO
    Posts: 38 edited August 2012
    I guess that comment by Tic is aimed at me. Not sure if this is the place to comment on issues like this, but since it's been brought up:

    1) I just found the art and liked it for an image of said character. 2) Maybe this is a bigger issue, but I have never seen anyone in their portal entries site an author for content in regard to credit of material nor of artwork...considering your artwork in your own signature/avatar - unless you are indeed the artist of the female in your pic?

    Not saying this is good/bad, but again is this the forum for this conversation? Thanks for the input. Noted.
    Post edited by Lord_AO on
  • tic
    tic
    Posts: 44 edited August 2012
    Not crediting the artist and intentionally removing the artist's signature are different, though :/. The former is just negligence, while the latter is an intentional move to take credit away from the artist and obfuscate who the artist was.

    And, wrt my avatar, it's a piece of artwork I commissioned to depict one of my characters. I paid the artist to draw it for me.
    Post edited by tic on
  • Savannah
    Savannah
    Posts: 188
    I have seen artists credited numerous times. Even if you aren't the person who edited the image, continuing to use it given that you now know it's been stolen and edited is not cool.
  • Lord_AO
    Lord_AO
    Posts: 38
    Yeah, no way am I saying NOT to credit them, but just I hadn't seen others, but thanks for the heads up. Any other advice is surely appreciated! Thanks for all the others input as well.
  • twiggyleaf
    twiggyleaf
    Posts: 1,920
    Empty deconstructive reviews don't help very much, do they?

    "I met a traveller from an antique land....."

    CotM May 2016: Mysteria: set in Wolfgang Baur’s MIDGARD.

    Previous CotM Aug 2012: Shimring: High Level Multiplanar Campaign

    Inner Council Member

  • gaaran
    gaaran
    Posts: 740
    Not exactly a direct link between the image and the artist, but Lord_AO does mention Linda Tso's name on his credits page.

    http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/deepest-darkness/wikis/copyright-page
  • tic
    tic
    Posts: 44 edited August 2012
    Yes :> It's great to see the addition of that credits page. There have been some more edits since the other day, too, and it's been exciting to see the campaign develop.

    I really love the way the titles are starting to get handled; the campaign name in the header image, and the "setting" and "credits" text on the index are so fabulous looking, I love the partial horizontal rule background they've been given that fades out on either side.

    The burned/torn paper effect surrounding the header and splash image is lovely, too, and the graphic menu is developing nicely!

    The spiderweb background might be better served if it got a position: fixed; CSS attribute stuck onto it, though, so that it doesn't scroll around. But that's a personal preference, probably not everyone on the planet loves their backgrounds fixed like I do, so fix it if you want or keep it scrolling if you dig that better!
    Post edited by tic on
  • gaaran
    gaaran
    Posts: 740
    Lord_AO, I was checking out your site, and the nav bar is a little off center, and you can see the lines from the background navbar poking out the sides. In taking a look, the following changes should fix it.

    .tabnav {
    background: none;
    }

    (I believe this is your custom navbar)

    element.style {
    margin-left: 14px;
    position: relative;
    top: -46px;
    }

    That should make your navbar look a little better.
  • tic
    tic
    Posts: 44 edited August 2012
    Agdsfg no don't put anything into your external CSS to style "element.style." Gaaran, it's showing as "element.style" in your Firebug/Chrome Inspect Element Pane because it's being styled in-line and has no class or ID name associated with it.
    Post edited by tic on
  • gaaran
    gaaran
    Posts: 740
    Ah, yes, okay, that makes sense. In that case, you should change whatever your inline style is to that. :)
  • murphoid
    murphoid
    Posts: 2
    Well hey I always love input! I confess organization is probably lacking but content and player participation is there.

    www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/murphoids
  • darkanglmarine
    darkanglmarine
    Posts: 34
    I hope no one objects to my $0.02 worth here on Murphoid's site, but I thought I'd give it a crack considering the great feedback the community has given me so far.

    First, Murphoid, the biggest thing I noticed was lack of color or style to the pages. I thought your banner was fun, but it seemed to be the only real color to the page, other than the default background image. I'd highly recommend finding a great background image that reflects your campaign, and using that for your background, and secondly, adding a backdrop image to your text. I like to use parchement, but you can really use any seemless texture you like. It just fills in the boring white space on your page.

    The second thing I found was the double placement of characters had me confused. Linking to your characters, or to the character page is helpful, but having the character sheets both under Wiki and Characters was a bit confusing. I'd delete them from the wiki unless you have a great reason for placing them there.

    Your sight has some great things going for it already, such as the Forums seem to be well used, however, it also appears that you are in the early stages of setting up the wiki. There wasn't a lot of material yet to review. I'd make more use of images to help tell the story and add color and excitement to your pages, and the other tips I've listed above, and then as you add more detail, have another review request and get someone like Twiggyleaf, KillerVP, Kallak, or Arasheesh to review it. They are pretty spectacular at it and can give you some great advice on how to add more flare and where to take your sight next.
Sign In or Register to comment.

September 2022
Merovia

Read the feature post on the blog
Return to Obsidian Portal

Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Discussions