Writers and History Buffs - HELP!!

KenSee
KenSee
edited January 2012 in General Archive
My Pathfinder campaign goes live in a weeks time and I am very nervous. I have written the history of my continent in my campaign.

Here is my "History Page":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/paths-of-destiny-ken/wikis/histories

Can someone read through the entries there and tell me if they "make sense". Meaning do they follow logically? (It may look like a lot but some entries have less than others.)

Any feedback you can offer would be great appreciated!

Thanks!
-Ken See

Comments

  • TheMazeController
    TheMazeController
    Posts: 115
    Looks pretty okay to me ... on the plp page there appears to be a dead link. Might be because I am not part of the campaign. The narrative is pretty much straightforward and while I may have chosen some words over others that you used that's mostly a question of style perhaps. (Several settlements along the Procellan coast were established and then later failed due to *disconnection* with other settlements or lack of proper crop growing techniques.) Something about that sentence and that word doesn't flow well for me.

    I think it should go well however. It's fairly obvious you put in a lot of work and the players will likely really appreciate it. Don't be nervous, be excited!

    I only lightly scanned it so a deeper reading may reveal more.
  • KenSee
    KenSee
    Posts: 93
    Thanks so much Maze!

    Yeah, that sentence bothers me too. I just couldn't think of an alternative. Thanks for pointing out though. Its always good to have another perspective!

    -Ken See
  • kitgun
    kitgun
    Posts: 3
    try replacing disconnection with isolationism, or xenophobia, possibly racism or distrust.
  • KenSee
    KenSee
    Posts: 93
    Hmm, the one that makes the most sense in context would be isolation. I just don't now how to fit it in. Gotta work on that, I have 4 English Major players so I am sure they will correct me the moment they see it. I am thankful for them and grumble at them simultaneously.

    Thanks!

    Anyone else have any advice?
  • GamingMegaverse
    GamingMegaverse
    Posts: 2,998
    The info is rich, but the whole thing is a little dry. I think a picture for each page representing that historical period would help. It is really cool how you have the forward buttons move forward in the timeline- I would do the same with the back buttons. In fact, you may want to do a timeline- like "here":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/duskreignprophecy/wikis/history or "here":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/a-god-rebuilt/wikis/historical-timeline
    Lots of great info, and useful. Also, as Maze said, would make sure there are no dead links.
    Remember, you can add things as the campaign goes on- not all of us are Stephen Wollett, and have a "COTM":http://blog.obsidianportal.com/star-trek-late-night-januarys-cotm/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=star-trek-late-night-januarys-cotm before we played a session- most of us started with minimal stuff. I know my campaign was a joke compared to where it is now.
    killervp
    "A God...Rebuilt":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/a-god-rebuilt
    Duskreign's "COTM for November 2011":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/wyrmshadow/wiki_pages/112011

    Just trying to help out.

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